There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

Chuck Norris doesnt sleep. He waits.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger by yelling, "Bang!"

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do: .

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

   1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 [Next] [Last Page]