Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
The reason Pangea split was because Chuck Norris ran out of drinking water.
Rated 3.55/5 (22 Votes)
The universe is expanding because it's getting too small for Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.8/5 (25 Votes)
The people on Gilligan's Island didn't drift there on a boat, they were the only survivors after Chuck Norris invaded it.
Rated 2.5/5 (18 Votes)
The reason Tom Hanks decided to stay on the Island in the movie Cast Away for multiple years is because Chuck Norris was waiting for him in the States.
Rated 3.13/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris didn't lose his punching bag, it ran away.
Rated 3.62/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't buy ketchup, he simply squeezes a few tomatoes in his hands.
Rated 3.6/5 (20 Votes)
When Chuck Norris gives you the peace sign, it is not a peace offering, it's the number of seconds you have to run.
Rated 4.08/5 (37 Votes)
The mona lisa is smiling because shes the only person to ever escape Chuck Norris's wrath.
Rated 2.96/5 (24 Votes)
The telephone was invented was so that people would have a quicker way to warn each other when Chuck is coming.
Rated 3.93/5 (71 Votes)
The only way to keep illegal aliens from crossing the border is to stick Chuck Norris on the border.
Rated 3.12/5 (17 Votes)
We don't have the right to freedom in America, Chuck allows it.... for now.
Rated 3.33/5 (18 Votes)
If Chuck Norris tells you to "break a leg" and you don't, he'll do it for you.
Rated 4.06/5 (86 Votes)
Chuck Norris can bisect a parallel line.
Rated 3.62/5 (21 Votes)
Don't raise your hand if you're in a class with Chuck Norris, he'll take it to mean you're volunteering to get your a** kicked.
Rated 3.4/5 (15 Votes)
When you Google roundhouse kicks, Chuck Norris is always the first thing that appears... behind you!
Rated 3.24/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris once published a book that was nothing but the two covers, and on the front cover all it said was "By Chuck Norris". It sold millions of copies instantly.
Rated 4.03/5 (30 Votes)
Chuck Norris once played Halo 3 on Legendary and with all skulls, only to stop playing it 20 minutes later- after having beaten the campaign 4 times.
Rated 3.05/5 (22 Votes)
Whoever said that " 'Huck' Norris could upercut the ground" better run as far and fast as they can (in the end, it still wont make a difference).
Rated 3.13/5 (15 Votes)
No use in watching LOST. Chuck Norris found them.
Rated 3.5/5 (20 Votes)
The Civil War was not faught over slavery, it was faught over whose land Chuck Norris lived on. Upon hearing this, Chuck stood up and the war ended with Chuck saying no one owned HIM or HIS land (Texas).
Rated 3.18/5 (28 Votes)