Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Thomas Edison found 10,000 ways how not to make a lightbulb and Chuck Norris has found millions of ways to kill YOU!
Rated 2.6/5 (35 Votes)
Ever think that Chuck Norris was the Master Chief? The both kick the same amount of ass.
Rated 2.16/5 (44 Votes)
Chuck Norris invented guns only because he needed a somewhat of a fare fight when it came time for him to spill some blood.
Rated 3.07/5 (29 Votes)
Chuck Norris can mix volcano and lightning storms without even trying.
Rated 2.45/5 (22 Votes)
Chcuk Norris can dual wield rocket launchers.
Rated 3.43/5 (30 Votes)
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Rated 3.98/5 (40 Votes)
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
Rated 2.71/5 (21 Votes)
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Rated 3.25/5 (32 Votes)
The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.
Rated 2.14/5 (21 Votes)
A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.
Rated 2.73/5 (22 Votes)
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
Rated 3.93/5 (28 Votes)
Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.
Rated 3.62/5 (52 Votes)
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
Rated 3.08/5 (25 Votes)
For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.
Rated 3.14/5 (21 Votes)
TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.
Rated 3.64/5 (33 Votes)
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
Rated 2.3/5 (27 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.
Rated 3.76/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
Rated 3.65/5 (23 Votes)
In 1990 Chuck Norris founded "Kick Drugs out of America" if it had been "Roundhouse Kick Drugs out of America" there would be no drugs on the Western Hempisphere...EVER.
Rated 3.71/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris went there.
Rated 3.67/5 (24 Votes)