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Thomas Edison found 10,000 ways how not to make a lightbulb and Chuck Norris has found millions of ways to kill YOU!

Rated 2.6/5 (35 Votes)

Ever think that Chuck Norris was the Master Chief? The both kick the same amount of ass.

Rated 2.16/5 (44 Votes)

Chuck Norris invented guns only because he needed a somewhat of a fare fight when it came time for him to spill some blood.

Rated 3.1/5 (30 Votes)

Chuck Norris can mix volcano and lightning storms without even trying.

Rated 2.45/5 (22 Votes)

Chcuk Norris can dual wield rocket launchers.

Rated 3.43/5 (30 Votes)

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Rated 3.98/5 (40 Votes)

Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.

Rated 2.73/5 (22 Votes)

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Rated 3.25/5 (32 Votes)

The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.

Rated 2.14/5 (21 Votes)

A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.

Rated 2.73/5 (22 Votes)

Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.

Rated 3.93/5 (28 Votes)

Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.

Rated 3.64/5 (53 Votes)

Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.

Rated 3.08/5 (25 Votes)

For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.

Rated 3.14/5 (21 Votes)

TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.

Rated 3.64/5 (33 Votes)

When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.

Rated 2.25/5 (28 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

Rated 3.76/5 (25 Votes)

Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

Rated 3.65/5 (23 Votes)

In 1990 Chuck Norris founded "Kick Drugs out of America" if it had been "Roundhouse Kick Drugs out of America" there would be no drugs on the Western Hempisphere...EVER.

Rated 3.76/5 (25 Votes)

Chuck Norris went there.

Rated 3.67/5 (24 Votes)
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