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A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.

Rated 4.11/5 (4098 Votes)

Chuck Norris can always "hear you now", without a Verizon plan.

Rated 3.05/5 (21 Votes)

Chuck Norris didn't rest on the 7th day.

Rated 2.96/5 (28 Votes)

Chuck Norris was made an offer once. He refused.

Rated 3/5 (23 Votes)

If you attempt a "Knock Knock" joke using Chuck Norris' name, you will open a rift into the space time continuum that will swallow the universe as we know it. Everyone knows Chuck Norris and it's not a good idea to pretend otherwise.

Rated 3.58/5 (26 Votes)

Chuck Norris was the first man to walk on a man on the moon.

Rated 4.11/5 (35 Votes)

Chuck Norris can sing in the key of H, but has never, ever wanted to sing. EVER.

Rated 3.44/5 (25 Votes)

If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.

Rated 4.13/5 (2588 Votes)

Friday the 13th is superstitious of Chuck Norris' birthday.

Rated 3.76/5 (21 Votes)

Chuck Norris wrote his autobiography while in the womb.

Rated 3.72/5 (65 Votes)

One can only speculate what happened to the doctor who spanked Chuck Norris on the day he was born.

Rated 4.06/5 (53 Votes)

No matter how old you are, you will experience a mid-life crisis when Chuck's fist is halfway between him and your face.

Rated 4.04/5 (28 Votes)

Barber poles used to be just white, but then that barber accidentally dropped some styling mousse in Chuck's hair.

Rated 3.76/5 (21 Votes)

Chuck Norris can make a straight line gay.

Rated 3.91/5 (43 Votes)

Chuck Norris is stupid...say that 3 times and see what happens.

Rated 3.74/5 (35 Votes)

Only two people can beat Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris, and some guy that goes around roundhouse kicking people, i think his name is Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.53/5 (45 Votes)

Chuck Norris's balls have balls.

Rated 3.83/5 (163 Votes)

Its a myth that if you look at a sheep crosseyed it will die. Its a fact that if Chuck Norris looks at you you will die.

Rated 3.5/5 (28 Votes)

The first ten minutes of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" was loosley based on a game of dodgeball played by Chuck Norris in the 4th grade.

Rated 3.45/5 (20 Votes)

If Chuck Norris was a color it would be a mix betwen black and blue.

Rated 2.63/5 (24 Votes)
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