Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Rated 4.11/5 (4104 Votes)
Chuck Norris can always "hear you now", without a Verizon plan.
Rated 3.05/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris didn't rest on the 7th day.
Rated 2.96/5 (28 Votes)
Chuck Norris was made an offer once. He refused.
Rated 3/5 (23 Votes)
If you attempt a "Knock Knock" joke using Chuck Norris' name, you will open a rift into the space time continuum that will swallow the universe as we know it. Everyone knows Chuck Norris and it's not a good idea to pretend otherwise.
Rated 3.52/5 (27 Votes)
Chuck Norris was the first man to walk on a man on the moon.
Rated 4.11/5 (35 Votes)
Chuck Norris can sing in the key of H, but has never, ever wanted to sing. EVER.
Rated 3.35/5 (26 Votes)
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.
Rated 4.13/5 (2588 Votes)
Friday the 13th is superstitious of Chuck Norris' birthday.
Rated 3.82/5 (22 Votes)
Chuck Norris wrote his autobiography while in the womb.
Rated 3.72/5 (65 Votes)
One can only speculate what happened to the doctor who spanked Chuck Norris on the day he was born.
Rated 4.04/5 (54 Votes)
No matter how old you are, you will experience a mid-life crisis when Chuck's fist is halfway between him and your face.
Rated 4.04/5 (28 Votes)
Barber poles used to be just white, but then that barber accidentally dropped some styling mousse in Chuck's hair.
Rated 3.76/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris can make a straight line gay.
Rated 3.93/5 (44 Votes)
Chuck Norris is stupid...say that 3 times and see what happens.
Rated 3.7/5 (37 Votes)
Only two people can beat Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris, and some guy that goes around roundhouse kicking people, i think his name is Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.53/5 (45 Votes)
Chuck Norris's balls have balls.
Rated 3.83/5 (163 Votes)
Its a myth that if you look at a sheep crosseyed it will die. Its a fact that if Chuck Norris looks at you you will die.
Rated 3.5/5 (28 Votes)
The first ten minutes of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" was loosley based on a game of dodgeball played by Chuck Norris in the 4th grade.
Rated 3.45/5 (20 Votes)
If Chuck Norris was a color it would be a mix betwen black and blue.
Rated 2.63/5 (24 Votes)