Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
When Chuck Norris goes to kill a Vampire... He uses his fist instead of a stake. His fist can kill anyone.
Rated 2.81/5 (26 Votes)
When people want major face surgery they go piss off Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.6/5 (30 Votes)
A car thief once merely thought about stealing Chuck Norris's car... and his head exploded!
Rated 2.79/5 (28 Votes)
The only reason Michael Phelps won the Olympics was because Chuck Norris was chasing him.
Rated 3.91/5 (45 Votes)
Bill Gates is friends with Chuck Norris on XBOX Live.
Rated 2.92/5 (26 Votes)
Chuck Norris holds the current HR distance record in the MLB Home run derby he hit a homer over the wall of Yankee stadium and it landed in the parking lot... of MacAfee Coliseum.
Rated 3.31/5 (26 Votes)
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon trail, his family does not die of cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. His wagon and livestock never get stuck in the mud, either, since he carries all of it on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Rated 2.84/5 (25 Votes)
If you ever google Chuck Norris getting his butt kicked, you will generate 0 results. It just doesn't happen.
Rated 2.7/5 (27 Votes)
Chuck Norris is the reason for China's overpopulation. He attended a martial arts tournament in Hong Kong
and every woman within 1,000 square miles instantly got pregnant.
Rated 3.68/5 (22 Votes)
When the power goes out they dont use the Enigizer Bunny they use Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.5/5 (22 Votes)
Chuck Norris has brail on his boots so even blind people know when it's coming.
Rated 4.03/5 (103 Votes)
If you don't know how to spell Chuck Norris.... dont try.
Rated 2.96/5 (23 Votes)
The lock ness monster used to live on land. until it saw Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.65/5 (23 Votes)
The book of revelations in the bible is what happens when Chuck Norris has a bad day.
Rated 3.14/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris needs a concealed weapons permit to legally wear pants.
Rated 3.88/5 (32 Votes)
If you see Chuck Norris Naked, your eyes will be lit on fire right before being roundhouse kicked.
Rated 3.09/5 (22 Votes)
If you strap Chuck Norris to an electric chair and shock him, you're the one that gets shocked.
Rated 3.47/5 (19 Votes)
Chuck Norris can get 27,000,000 million hits on YouTube without posting a video.
Rated 4.06/5 (49 Votes)
Chuck Norris' urine was used for Red Bull, rocket fuel, and 5-hour energy.
Rated 3.62/5 (26 Votes)
Chuck Norris invented the roundhouse kick. Why do you think it's the leading-major-ass-kicking product in the world?!
Rated 2.71/5 (17 Votes)