Browse Through Our Collection of 5,219 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Only Chuck Norris can beat up himself, and he ALWAYS wins.
Rated 3.75/5 (16 Votes)
20 Questions doesn't ask Chuck Norris anything. it just says 'Chuck Norris is the smartest and strongest thing in the universe '.
Rated 3.04/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris can set fire to magnifying glasses using ants.
Rated 3.84/5 (37 Votes)
When Chuck Norris go's to burger king he doesn't have it your way he has it his way.
Rated 3.47/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris can do a hand stand no handed.
Rated 3.79/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't need a little plastic card to tell him he can get out of jail free.
Rated 3.29/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris's punching bag broke into a million diffrent pieces even before he had left the store with it.
Rated 2.85/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris can run on a tight rope while he is completey wasted.
Rated 3.31/5 (16 Votes)
Santa tried to put something in Chuck Norris stocking but a fist came out of the stocking punched santa in the face with a note attached saying "get out of my house you stalker.".
Rated 2.94/5 (17 Votes)
No one has told Chuck Norris a mama joke. Or they didnt live to tell about it.
Rated 2.65/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris proved that the sky not the limit.
Rated 3.64/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris does not own his own brush, he shares a brush, with death.
Rated 3.77/5 (13 Votes)
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 9000.
Rated 3.39/5 (23 Votes)
Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris".
Rated 3.5/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
Rated 3.83/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
Rated 4/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.
Rated 3.64/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life.".
Rated 3.88/5 (24 Votes)
Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.
Rated 3.64/5 (25 Votes)
Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
Rated 3.89/5 (27 Votes)