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Only Chuck Norris can beat up himself, and he ALWAYS wins.

Rated 3.75/5 (16 Votes)

20 Questions doesn't ask Chuck Norris anything. it just says 'Chuck Norris is the smartest and strongest thing in the universe '.

Rated 3.04/5 (24 Votes)

Chuck Norris can set fire to magnifying glasses using ants.

Rated 3.84/5 (37 Votes)

When Chuck Norris go's to burger king he doesn't have it your way he has it his way.

Rated 3.47/5 (17 Votes)

Chuck Norris can do a hand stand no handed.

Rated 3.83/5 (23 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't need a little plastic card to tell him he can get out of jail free.

Rated 3.2/5 (20 Votes)

Chuck Norris's punching bag broke into a million diffrent pieces even before he had left the store with it.

Rated 2.85/5 (13 Votes)

Chuck Norris can run on a tight rope while he is completey wasted.

Rated 3.31/5 (16 Votes)

Santa tried to put something in Chuck Norris stocking but a fist came out of the stocking punched santa in the face with a note attached saying "get out of my house you stalker.".

Rated 2.94/5 (17 Votes)

No one has told Chuck Norris a mama joke. Or they didnt live to tell about it.

Rated 2.65/5 (17 Votes)

Chuck Norris proved that the sky not the limit.

Rated 3.64/5 (14 Votes)

Chuck Norris does not own his own brush, he shares a brush, with death.

Rated 3.77/5 (13 Votes)

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 9000.

Rated 3.39/5 (23 Votes)

Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris".

Rated 3.5/5 (16 Votes)

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

Rated 3.83/5 (18 Votes)

Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

Rated 4/5 (25 Votes)

Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.

Rated 3.64/5 (11 Votes)

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life.".

Rated 3.88/5 (24 Votes)

Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.

Rated 3.64/5 (25 Votes)

Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.

Rated 3.89/5 (27 Votes)
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