Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back.
Rated 4/5 (40 Votes)
Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.
Rated 3.26/5 (23 Votes)
Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris".
Rated 3.73/5 (22 Votes)
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.
Rated 3.97/5 (29 Votes)
Chuck Norris is so smart Stephen Hawking stood up and bowed down to him.
Rated 3.63/5 (30 Votes)
Ghostbuster's call Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.06/5 (107 Votes)
On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Rated 3.57/5 (21 Votes)
Ninjas aren't paid to kill Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris kills ninjas for free.
Rated 3.7/5 (20 Votes)
Some kids play kick the can during summer. Chuck Norris plays kick and eat the kids.
Rated 3.47/5 (19 Votes)
No matter how drunk you get, you'll still feel the pain when Chuck Norris hits you.
Rated 3.7/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris beat Guitar Hero 1, 2, and 3 100% on expert, simultaneously, with an Atari 2600 joystick... With the TV turned off.
Rated 4.09/5 (97 Votes)
Chuck Norris's screen saver is the "Porygon" episode in season one of Pokemon...
Rated 2.48/5 (25 Votes)
Kid have fun playing "kick the can". Chuck Norrris has fun playing "kick the kid"...
Rated 3.38/5 (364 Votes)
When Chuck Norris came out when he was a baby, he didn't cry the doctor cried.
Rated 3.63/5 (27 Votes)
Next year they are having 51 stars on the flag, because Chuck Norris is considered a state.
Rated 3.88/5 (26 Votes)
When Chuck Norris came out when he was a baby, he wasn't bloody the doctor was bloody.
Rated 3.53/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris can ride a bike up a hill without a chain.
Rated 3.41/5 (37 Votes)
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
Rated 4.16/5 (2843 Votes)
Chuck Norris caught the Swine Flu once... it was never heard from again.
Rated 3.59/5 (22 Votes)
Chuck Norris is so bad ass he can BR u with an AR in halo 3.
Rated 2.63/5 (16 Votes)