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Chuck Norris is so bad ass he can stick u with a frag grenade in halo 3.

Rated 3.83/5 (18 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't need to pee in his pants to be cool.

Rated 3.36/5 (14 Votes)

If it doesn't involve a roundhouse kick Chuck Norris didn't do it.

Rated 2.8/5 (15 Votes)

Chuck Norris is so hot he makes Jessica Alba seem ugly.

Rated 2.65/5 (23 Votes)

The big bad wolf huffed and puffed and then Chuck Norris came out.

Rated 4.06/5 (16 Votes)

Contrary to popular belief the challenger space shuttle did not fail because of an o-ring but because an experimental mixture 300,000 parts ethanol and one part Chuck Norris semen.

Rated 2.62/5 (13 Votes)

Osama Bin Laden cannot be found because He was launched into space by am immediate roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris. He currentley resides in the debris ring that orbits saturn.

Rated 3/5 (11 Votes)

Chuck Norris would not mate with Rossie Odonell if she was the last woman on earth. Instead he would impregnate the statue of liberty.

Rated 3.8/5 (10 Votes)

The bullet proof vest was actually invented by Chuck Norris when he knitted a sweater.

Rated 3.39/5 (18 Votes)

Chuck Norris does not like the Beatles.

Rated 2.35/5 (26 Votes)

In 1992 Chuck Norris was in a chili eating contest. Hurricane Andrews soon followed.

Rated 3.64/5 (22 Votes)

Chuck Norris wears bulletproof pecs.

Rated 3.07/5 (14 Votes)

Behind Chuck Norris' beard is another beard. Behind that, a fist.

Rated 2.28/5 (18 Votes)

Chuck Norris beat Mona Lisa in a staring contest.

Rated 3.88/5 (68 Votes)

Chuck Norris cried; that's what caused the Great Depression.

Rated 3.1/5 (30 Votes)

Chuck Norris beat down an up beat.

Rated 2.57/5 (21 Votes)

Chuck Norris uses his teeth to remove loose apples.

Rated 2.65/5 (23 Votes)

Who framed Chuck Norris? Feel sorry for that guy.

Rated 3.08/5 (26 Votes)

Chuck Norris looked at an astroid through a telescope -- it decided not to crash into the earth.

Rated 3.53/5 (19 Votes)

Who wears short shorts? Not Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.65/5 (26 Votes)
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