Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris caught the swine flu it made him cough...once.
Rated 2.56/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris CAN bite more than he chew.
Rated 3.53/5 (17 Votes)
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, only Chuck Norris can hear the sound.
Rated 3.25/5 (12 Votes)
Mr. T makes time for Chuck Norris' jibba-jabba.
Rated 3.56/5 (9 Votes)
Death closes all doors, Chuck Norris round-house kicks them shut.
Rated 3.6/5 (15 Votes)
D-Day was Chuck Norris's Boy Scout Eagle project.
Rated 3.99/5 (129 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't watch T.V., T.V. watches Chuck Norris to make sure he doesn't roundhouse kick it.
Rated 2.94/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris can hear with glasses.
Rated 3.36/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris can take off his socks without taking off his shoes.
Rated 3.76/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris's birthday is BC infinity.
Rated 2.91/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris's birthday is who the hell knows.
Rated 1.82/5 (17 Votes)
Time waits for Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.43/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris squashed a black hole to oblivion,then ate it. No condiments.
Rated 2.56/5 (18 Votes)
The ARMY is using Chuck Norris in its latest round of "Be all that you can be" commercials because even they know everyone wants to be Chuck Norris!
Rated 3.64/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris can eat a soup with a fork and make it stay.
Rated 3.38/5 (21 Votes)
Cats have Chuck Norris-like reflexes!
Rated 3.58/5 (19 Votes)
Bacon was created because Chuck Norris roundhoused a pig.
Rated 2.93/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris went black, but he still came back and roundhoused the idiot who said he couldn't.
Rated 2.87/5 (15 Votes)
Psychics ask Chuck Norris for advice.
Rated 3.11/5 (19 Votes)
The Swine Flu got started because a pig oinked in Chuck Norris's presence. He roundhouse kicked it in the face and it landed on a little mexican boy.
Rated 3.49/5 (39 Votes)