Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris has never met a man he didnt promptly roundhouse kick in the face.
Rated 3.27/5 (15 Votes)
It wasnt a meteor that killed the dinosaurs. Chuck Norris's balls dropped.
Rated 3.83/5 (29 Votes)
Chuck Norris can write the entire Declaration of Independence on his penis...with a paint roller.
Rated 3.94/5 (35 Votes)
Chuck Norris once threw one of his turds into outer space and it came back, we know it as the movie Armageddon.
Rated 3.14/5 (7 Votes)
Chuck Norris raced against an entire pack of cigarettes -- he smoked them all.
Rated 3.68/5 (22 Votes)
Chuck Norris had green eggs and ham -- Sam was never heard from again.
Rated 3.19/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't use an egg beater. He uses his boots.
Rated 2/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris can beat you in a eye staring contest when smoke from a fire is blowing up into his eyes.
Rated 3.14/5 (14 Votes)
When Chuck Norris has a thumb war, his thumb whips out a machine gun and shoots your thumb right off.
Rated 3.42/5 (19 Votes)
The Guinness Book of World Records was originally titled "Chuck Norris facts".
Rated 4.09/5 (56 Votes)
Chuck Norris beat the game of Jumanji without saying a word, he just beat the living crap out of everything that was thrown at him. Eventually the game forfeited.
Rated 3.09/5 (11 Votes)
The wheels on the bus used to be still, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked em.
Rated 3.08/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris can play basketball with a planet.
Rated 1.7/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't play peek-a-boo in the shower. He plays pee-and-you-die.
Rated 3.1/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris does not plagiarize. Every idea is owned by him.
Rated 3.38/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris carried King Kong up the Empire State Building.
Rated 2.88/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris died...worms ate him then the movie Tremors was made.
Rated 1.63/5 (27 Votes)
Whats the difference between you and Chuck Norris....HE'S CHUCK NORRIS.
Rated 2.04/5 (25 Votes)
Superman is faster than a speeding bullet...Chuck Norris is faster than superman.
Rated 2.41/5 (22 Votes)
Chuck Norris round house kicked Barney, Barney fell into 4 pieces. The Teletubbies were on television the next day.
Rated 3.72/5 (29 Votes)