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Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Rated 4.16/5 (2986 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't come down with the flu, viruses come down with Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.52/5 (71 Votes)

There's rock, paper and scissors but Chuck Norris' round house kick beats them all.

Rated 3.6/5 (68 Votes)

Chuck Norris can burn fire.

Rated 3.92/5 (241 Votes)

Chuck Norris can kill dead people.

Rated 3.82/5 (113 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't look in the closet for the boogey man. The boogey man looks in the closet for Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.81/5 (108 Votes)

Chuck Norris is so tough he doesn't care how he smells, he'll just break your nose.

Rated 3.33/5 (86 Votes)

It takes Chuck Norris a half an hour to watch 60 Minutes.

Rated 3.28/5 (89 Votes)

Chuck Norris can touch M.C. hammer.

Rated 3.53/5 (99 Votes)

Chuck Norris looked into Medusa's eyes and Medusa exploded.

Rated 4.01/5 (190 Votes)

Chuck Norris=mc squared

Rated 3.28/5 (95 Votes)

You can't be stuck in a Black-Hole with Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is the Black-Hole.

Rated 2.95/5 (73 Votes)

If you're stuck in a Black-Hole and you don't agree with something Chuck Norris says, you will be roundhouse kicked out of it and directly into another Black-Hole. Only problem is, that Chuck Norris is everything known to man. According to Albert Einstein.

Rated 2.48/5 (82 Votes)

Chuck Norris stole the cookie from the cookie jar.

Rated 3.1/5 (105 Votes)

Chuck Norris can't be on a separate line. Chuck Norris is the line.

Rated 2.63/5 (64 Votes)

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Rated 4.11/5 (2749 Votes)

Some people go swimming with dolphins, Chuck Norris swims with sharks.

Rated 3.58/5 (107 Votes)

Chuck Norris is so tough his Rice Krispies don't go snap, crackle and pop. The say "shhhhh here he comes!"

Rated 4.01/5 (171 Votes)

In the early 70's Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger got into a fight. With just one round house kick to the face, Arnold hasn't talked the same ever since

Rated 4.09/5 (1057 Votes)

There is no Chuck Norris autographed memorabilia. Every time he's asked for a signature he just roundhouse kicks you.

Rated 3.13/5 (64 Votes)
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