Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Rated 4.15/5 (2998 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't come down with the flu, viruses come down with Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.49/5 (72 Votes)
There's rock, paper and scissors but Chuck Norris' round house kick beats them
Rated 3.57/5 (69 Votes)
Chuck Norris can burn fire.
Rated 3.91/5 (242 Votes)
Chuck Norris can kill dead people.
Rated 3.8/5 (114 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't look in the closet for the boogey man. The boogey man looks in the closet for Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.79/5 (109 Votes)
Chuck Norris is so tough he doesn't care how he smells, he'll just break your nose.
Rated 3.29/5 (89 Votes)
It takes Chuck Norris a half an hour to watch 60 Minutes.
Rated 3.24/5 (92 Votes)
Chuck Norris can touch M.C. hammer.
Rated 3.5/5 (100 Votes)
Chuck Norris looked into Medusa's eyes and Medusa exploded.
Rated 3.99/5 (191 Votes)
Chuck Norris=mc squared
Rated 3.28/5 (96 Votes)
You can't be stuck in a Black-Hole with Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris
is the Black-Hole.
Rated 2.92/5 (74 Votes)
If you're stuck in a Black-Hole and you don't agree with something
Chuck Norris says, you will be roundhouse kicked out of it and directly
into another Black-Hole. Only problem is, that Chuck Norris is everything
known to man. According to Albert Einstein.
Rated 2.47/5 (83 Votes)
Chuck Norris stole the cookie from the cookie jar.
Rated 3.07/5 (107 Votes)
Chuck Norris can't be on a separate line. Chuck Norris is the line.
Rated 2.59/5 (66 Votes)
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Rated 4.11/5 (2751 Votes)
Some people go swimming with dolphins, Chuck Norris swims with sharks.
Rated 3.56/5 (108 Votes)
Chuck Norris is so tough his Rice Krispies don't go snap, crackle and pop. The say "shhhhh here he comes!"
Rated 3.99/5 (172 Votes)
In the early 70's Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger got into a fight. With just one round house kick to the face, Arnold hasn't talked the same ever since
Rated 4.09/5 (1058 Votes)
There is no Chuck Norris autographed memorabilia. Every time he's asked for a signature he just roundhouse kicks you.
Rated 3.12/5 (66 Votes)