Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
A slim jim snaps into Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.3/5 (20 Votes)
If you have a cow, and Chuck Norris has a pig, your cow is smaller than Chuck Norris' pig.
Rated 3.04/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. Dead people see Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.95/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't tell Yo Mamma jokes. Yo Mamma jokes tell Chuck Norris.
Rated 1.63/5 (30 Votes)
Chuck Norris created senior ditch day.
Rated 2.57/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris can freeze things with a flamethrower.
Rated 3.46/5 (26 Votes)
What do Viagra and thermonuclear weapons have in common? They're both made from Chuck Norris' blood.
Rated 2.53/5 (19 Votes)
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it. Chuck Norris will hear it.
Rated 3.2/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris wears sunglasses so that his eyes won't hurt the sun.
Rated 3.33/5 (24 Votes)
Diamonds aren't really a natural substance. Chuck Norris was just juggling coal.
Rated 2.07/5 (15 Votes)
'Chuck Norris' spelled backwards...would still be 'Chuck Norris'.
Rated 3.3/5 (23 Votes)
When on Google.com if you type "Find Chuch Norris" and click im feeling lucky your result will be, "Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you." (True).
Rated 3.59/5 (27 Votes)
The Roundhouse kick is Chuck Norris’ second most deadly move; no one dared to ask about the first.
Rated 3.76/5 (21 Votes)
God created multipule dimensions to support the sheer power of one Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.68/5 (22 Votes)
Language was created for people to warn others of Chuck Norris' wrath.
Rated 1.92/5 (24 Votes)
Oh yes... Chuck Norris DID go "there".
Rated 1.58/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't use post-it notes: he uses people.
Rated 2.3/5 (23 Votes)
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f**k down.
Rated 3.64/5 (28 Votes)
Chuck Norris' dog knows its not bacon.
Rated 2.61/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris hates halloween because no one tricks Chuck Norris and he doesn't like to give anything except a roundhouse to temple.
Rated 2/5 (17 Votes)