Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his 3 hole punch.
Rated 3.86/5 (28 Votes)
Chuck Norris went on vacation to Jurassic Park and left full. He had the T-Rex with a fine chianti.
Rated 2.79/5 (14 Votes)
Thunder is the sound of Chuck Norris farting.
Rated 3.86/5 (35 Votes)
Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.
Rated 4.11/5 (4059 Votes)
Chuck Norris does not eat granola bars. Instead, he eats two by fours.
Rated 3.06/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't pull anchors up. He swims to the bottom and roundhouse kicks them into the boat.
Rated 3.19/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris can beat you in and under water breathing contest even when you are using a snorkel.
Rated 3/5 (13 Votes)
The black night on Monty python and the holy Grail lost his limbs because he picked a fight wit Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.82/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris can grate fresh parmesan cheese with his beard.
Rated 3.58/5 (24 Votes)
Before going up on stage, Chuck Norris breaks someone's leg to wish himself good luck.
Rated 4.12/5 (34 Votes)
Chuck Norris Does Not Get Headaches....He Gives Headaches!
Rated 2.41/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris was a contestant on the 1 vs 100 Finale.
They haven't broadcasted since.
Rated 2.87/5 (15 Votes)
A man once said guns were the best way to kill a person. Chuck Norris quickly ended that theory by roundhouse kicking him in the face.
Rated 3.71/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris can do a one handed push-up on his back.
Rated 3.29/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris is the reason america is a superpower.
Rated 3.2/5 (15 Votes)
Mike Tyson chipped a tooth on Chuck Norris' ear.
Rated 3.72/5 (32 Votes)
Chuck Norris has a holster for his arm.
Rated 3.21/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't talk in his sleep, he plots.
Rated 3.63/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris drank all 99 bottles of beer on the wall, yes 99 bottles of beer.
Rated 2.71/5 (34 Votes)
Chuck Norris won the tour de france, on a stationary bike.
Rated 4.06/5 (553 Votes)