Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Fear has a name, its Chuck Norris, but for those who see Chuck Norris they know him by another name, DEATH.
Rated 2.95/5 (56 Votes)
The sun only rises in the morning because it fears Chuck Norrises wrath.
Rated 3.14/5 (58 Votes)
Chuck Norris can see through Count Olaf's disguises.
Rated 2.86/5 (85 Votes)
When Chuck Norris flexes his biceps, the global atmospheric pressure abruptly rises.
Rated 3.32/5 (65 Votes)
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Rated 4.18/5 (3936 Votes)
Contrary to popular belief no bomb was dropped on Hiroshima, Chuck Norris
lost his temper.
Rated 3.94/5 (141 Votes)
Chuck Norris came before the chicken and the egg
Rated 3.8/5 (95 Votes)
Chuck Norris does not get frost bite, Chuck bites frost.
Rated 3.41/5 (82 Votes)
When Chuck Norris has a bowel movement it is not feces that comes out...it is muscle!
Rated 2.05/5 (79 Votes)
When Chuck Norris went on a date at the end of the date he wanted to get frisky. His date replied "I like you too much to do this." He kicked her in the face and said "How do you like me now?"
Rated 2.48/5 (99 Votes)
Chuck Norris can beat up Steven Segal. With his beard.
Rated 3.21/5 (80 Votes)
Captain Kirk only searched Uranus for Clingons. Chuck Norris found them and roundhouse kicked them out of the solar system.
Rated 2.81/5 (64 Votes)
Chuck Norris cured leprosy just by giving it the finger.
Rated 3.51/5 (81 Votes)
Babies stop crying when Chuck Norris kicks them.
Rated 2.92/5 (74 Votes)
Chuck Norris's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.38/5 (87 Votes)
Where can a 400 Lb. Gorilla sleep? Anywhere it wants.
Expect Chuck Norris's house.
Rated 2.81/5 (73 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't help patrol the border. He is the border.
Rated 3.51/5 (87 Votes)
When time is going to fast Chuck Norris tells it to slow the frick down,
and if it doesn't Chuck roundhouse kicks time into wishing it did!
Rated 2.55/5 (71 Votes)
Norrisaphobia- The extreme fear of being roundhouse kicked in the face.
Rated 3.9/5 (209 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin. he just has another fist.
Rated 3.26/5 (72 Votes)