Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris would use guns,if he wasnt aready loaded with a roundhouse 47.
Rated 2.82/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris favorite color is Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.77/5 (31 Votes)
Chuck Norris plays four square with a bowling ball.
Rated 3.33/5 (21 Votes)
Every year Chuck Norris celebrates Thanksgiving by eating a pilgrim.
Rated 3.96/5 (23 Votes)
After hours of study Chuck Norris discovered why the Mona Lisa is smiling. Then he kicked the bitch for smirking at Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.53/5 (17 Votes)
All of Chuck Norris' chromosomes are male.
Rated 3.89/5 (27 Votes)
The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Unless Chuck Norris is standing on the line. Then the shortest distance between two points is to run for your life.
Rated 3.23/5 (111 Votes)
As a teething infant Chuck Norris bit into an Indestructible Gob Stopper. The candy is now called a Gob Stopper.
Rated 3.44/5 (16 Votes)
On his deathbed Benjamin Franklin made an addition to his famous assertion that lifes two certainties were death and taxes. The third certainty was that Chuck Norris's roundhouse kick could pierce steel.
Rated 3.33/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't take a stand for or against gays in the military. Instead, he makes whole armies feel gay compared to his fearsome masculinity.
Rated 3.85/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris once was in WWE but they fired him ,nobody wants to see matches 9 seconds long.
Rated 3.1/5 (20 Votes)
Myspace is not your space its actually Chuck Norris space (only he lets you use it).
Rated 3.63/5 (19 Votes)
Chuck Norris can clap and turn his lights on or off, and he doesnt even own "The Clapper".
Rated 3.56/5 (16 Votes)
Every Christmas, Chuck Norris dresses up in red, climbs down chimneys, and steals children to work in his salt mines.
Rated 2.63/5 (19 Votes)
You are what you eat. That is why Chuck Norris' diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
Rated 3.71/5 (34 Votes)
Someone once said Chuck had a big head...now they have no head.
Rated 3.14/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris' favorite candy are jaw breakers.
Rated 2.75/5 (12 Votes)
Only Chuck Norris can allow himself to have Barack Obama's email in his SPAM list.
Rated 3.09/5 (23 Votes)
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Rated 4.09/5 (461 Votes)
Chuck Norris dosent need a genie to make every thing he wants happen, just his stare!
Rated 2.56/5 (16 Votes)