Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris does not get the H1N1 virus, The H1N1 virus
gets Chuck Norris, the RHKTH (roundhouse kick to the head).
Rated 3.27/5 (15 Votes)
When Chuck Norris breaks the law, he's not in violation, the law is.
Rated 3.28/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris made a world record in Pole Vaulting without using a pole.
Rated 3.8/5 (20 Votes)
Lance Armstrong didnt beat cancer, Chuck Norris did it for him.
Rated 3.18/5 (17 Votes)
The dinosaurs only became extinct after Chuck Norris had a BBQ, for one.
Rated 2.59/5 (17 Votes)
The temperature of hell is EXACTLY half that of Chuck Norris's sauna.
Rated 3.79/5 (34 Votes)
Osama Bin Laden is Chuck Norris's bitch.
Rated 3.29/5 (24 Votes)
After rigorous medical testing it was agreed that Anabolic Steriods are an exact match to Chuck Norris's urine.
Rated 3.06/5 (18 Votes)
Usain Bolt broke the 100m record by accident because he was trying to run away from Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.19/5 (27 Votes)
When you split an atom, inside it says OWNED BY CHUCK NORRIS.
Rated 3.83/5 (23 Votes)
Chuck Norris shot the sherrif AND the deputy.
Rated 3.32/5 (19 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't pay for shipping, shipping pays for Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.95/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris can frown at puppies.
Rated 2.95/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris is so tough he can have a straight faced orgasm.
Rated 2.55/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris can drop the soap anytime he wants.
Rated 3.76/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris was at a campfire with two cowboys, they were seeing who was tougher. One said "I survived jumping off a plane". The other said "an anaconda was atacking me and I bit his head off." Chuck Norris just laughed and tended the fire with his d**k.
Rated 3.72/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris only has a night light because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.63/5 (16 Votes)
The story of Noah and the Red Sea was inspired by what happens when Chuck Norris walks down a crowded street.
Rated 2.84/5 (25 Votes)
Quantum Theory was discovered when Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicked two people in a parallel universe at the same time.
Rated 2.9/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris KNOWS he's not in Kansas anymore.
Rated 3.36/5 (22 Votes)