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Chuck Norris does not get the H1N1 virus, The H1N1 virus gets Chuck Norris, the RHKTH (roundhouse kick to the head).

Rated 3.27/5 (15 Votes)

When Chuck Norris breaks the law, he's not in violation, the law is.

Rated 3.28/5 (18 Votes)

Chuck Norris made a world record in Pole Vaulting without using a pole.

Rated 3.8/5 (20 Votes)

Lance Armstrong didnt beat cancer, Chuck Norris did it for him.

Rated 3.18/5 (17 Votes)

The dinosaurs only became extinct after Chuck Norris had a BBQ, for one.

Rated 2.59/5 (17 Votes)

The temperature of hell is EXACTLY half that of Chuck Norris's sauna.

Rated 3.79/5 (34 Votes)

Osama Bin Laden is Chuck Norris's bitch.

Rated 3.29/5 (24 Votes)

After rigorous medical testing it was agreed that Anabolic Steriods are an exact match to Chuck Norris's urine.

Rated 3.06/5 (18 Votes)

Usain Bolt broke the 100m record by accident because he was trying to run away from Chuck Norris.

Rated 4.19/5 (27 Votes)

When you split an atom, inside it says OWNED BY CHUCK NORRIS.

Rated 3.83/5 (23 Votes)

Chuck Norris shot the sherrif AND the deputy.

Rated 3.32/5 (19 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't pay for shipping, shipping pays for Chuck Norris.

Rated 2.95/5 (20 Votes)

Chuck Norris can frown at puppies.

Rated 2.95/5 (21 Votes)

Chuck Norris is so tough he can have a straight faced orgasm.

Rated 2.55/5 (20 Votes)

Chuck Norris can drop the soap anytime he wants.

Rated 3.76/5 (17 Votes)

Chuck Norris was at a campfire with two cowboys, they were seeing who was tougher. One said "I survived jumping off a plane". The other said "an anaconda was atacking me and I bit his head off." Chuck Norris just laughed and tended the fire with his d**k.

Rated 3.72/5 (25 Votes)

Chuck Norris only has a night light because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.63/5 (16 Votes)

The story of Noah and the Red Sea was inspired by what happens when Chuck Norris walks down a crowded street.

Rated 2.84/5 (25 Votes)

Quantum Theory was discovered when Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicked two people in a parallel universe at the same time.

Rated 2.9/5 (20 Votes)

Chuck Norris KNOWS he's not in Kansas anymore.

Rated 3.36/5 (22 Votes)
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