Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
If this was a joke then Chuck Norris would be the punch line.
Rated 3.6/5 (77 Votes)
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, but Jack still couldn't withstand a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Rated 3.68/5 (80 Votes)
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.06/5 (244 Votes)
Osama Bin Laden would turn himself in if he found out Chuck Norris was president.
Rated 3.69/5 (68 Votes)
The laws of physics say it is impossible to be in two places at one time. Unless you are Chuck Norris. Then the laws of physics are so scared they let you do whatever you want.
Rated 3.81/5 (69 Votes)
Chuck Norris can hit the broad side of a barn. This is more impressive than it seems, because the barn is so scared it runs away.
Rated 3.18/5 (61 Votes)
Jesus asks himself, "What Would Chuck Norris Do?"
Rated 4.03/5 (466 Votes)
Chuck Norris' chest hair is actually titanium fibers with a tensile strength of one million newtons.
Rated 3.26/5 (54 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't use stuntmen, stuntmen use Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.2/5 (56 Votes)
Chuck Norris wasnt created. He made himself.
Rated 3.37/5 (68 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't die. He has a death button.
Rated 2.68/5 (57 Votes)
The only reason aliens don't invade is because they're waiting for Chuck Norris to die.
Rated 3.93/5 (99 Votes)
Chuck Norris once tried to breath fire.
The result is global warming.
Rated 3.73/5 (94 Votes)
Why does Chuck Norris sometimes use machine guns? Because even Chuck Norris thinks some people need a chance sometimes.
Rated 4.06/5 (127 Votes)
When your in Texas don't look behind you because that's where a roundhouse kick is gonna be.
Rated 3.13/5 (61 Votes)
Chuck Norris was a first responder but he quit because people wanted him to use the defibrillators, not roundhouse kicks.
Rated 3.21/5 (58 Votes)
There is no such thing as a Chuck Norris joke. No one Jokes about Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.99/5 (111 Votes)
If you look in the dictionary for ass kicker, you only saw a
picture chuck Norris’ foot. The definition was removed
because no one has viewed this picture and lived.
Rated 2.94/5 (66 Votes)
If you want to know what infinity is, then Google deaths by chuck Norris.
Rated 3.45/5 (64 Votes)
Pecos bill was raised by wolves, chuck Norris was raised by rocks.
Rated 3.16/5 (64 Votes)