Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
There is no life on other planets, because God cannot afford to pay Chuck Norris the franchise fee.
Rated 3.07/5 (15 Votes)
Santa Claus sends a wish list to Chuck Norris every Christmas, along with his rent check for the North Pole. Chuck Norris throws the list way, and uses the money to buy beer and A1 sauce.
Rated 2.64/5 (11 Votes)
Instead of Wheaties for breakfast Chuck Norris has a big heaping bowl of Bruce Lee with a glass of Mr. T to wash it down.
Rated 3.8/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris can untangle a slinky.
Rated 3/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris shaves by roundhouse kicking himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
Rated 3/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't leave cookies and milk for santa. Santa leaves cookies and milk for Chuck Norris.
Rated 4/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris can make a man pregnant.
Rated 2.86/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris uses a cobra snake as a condom.
Rated 4.03/5 (29 Votes)
Trix are for Chuck Norris and kids.
Rated 2.7/5 (10 Votes)
When Chuck Norris eats a bowl of Rice Krispies, they don't go "snap, crackle, pop" - they flat out shut up!
Rated 3.31/5 (13 Votes)
When, Wikipedia doesn't know the answer, it searches Chuck Norris!
Rated 3.4/5 (10 Votes)
Global Warming was never a problem, until Chuck Norris farted.
Rated 3.73/5 (15 Votes)
If it looks like Chuck Norris, smells like Chuck Norris, and feels like Chuck Norris -- you're dead.
Rated 3.83/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck Norris' first date ended in four children.
Rated 2.93/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris can send a text through 2 cups and a piece of string.
Rated 3.94/5 (18 Votes)
Lightning never strikes twice in the same place because it knows Chuck Norris is looking for it.
Rated 3.62/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris can make a hole-in-one with a football.
Rated 3.14/5 (7 Votes)
Chuck Norris knows the taste of fire.
Rated 3.5/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck Norris loves pepper. He hates cinnamon.
Rated 2.8/5 (10 Votes)
Climate Change takes place when Chuck Norris Travels .
Rated 2.62/5 (13 Votes)