Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris can hear a silent fart.
Rated 3.32/5 (19 Votes)
Chuck Norris can tune a piano AND tuna fish.
Rated 2.14/5 (106 Votes)
Chuck Norris can beat the masterhand in a thumb wrestle.
Rated 2.96/5 (47 Votes)
Chuck Norris once beat a boy named Jimmy to death with his own skull. A lot of people don't think that's not physically possible. Well that's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming.
Rated 3.27/5 (22 Votes)
In the dictionary, there is a picture of Chuck Norris wearing a bulletproof vest next to the word "redundant".
Rated 3.69/5 (16 Votes)
Superman is able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Chuck Norris can walk straight through tall buildings. And Superman.
Rated 3.87/5 (23 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in idioms. So when he says that he's killing time, he's literally ending its existence.
Rated 3.32/5 (19 Votes)
Everyone who wakes up on Christmas morning gets a Christmas present from Chuck Norris. The fact that they are allowed to wake up on Christmas morning.
Rated 4.08/5 (26 Votes)
They tried to carve Chuck Norris's head into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
Rated 3.76/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't negotiate with terrorists, they negotiate with him.
Rated 3.56/5 (18 Votes)
Saying "Chuck Norris" after your opponent says "Check Mate" in the game of Chess, instantly makes you the winner.
Rated 4.06/5 (33 Votes)
Chuck Norris can't wear socks because they are afraid of his mighty kicks.
Rated 3.26/5 (19 Votes)
Chuck Norris can creat fire by just rubbing his hands together.
Rated 2.93/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris once climbed Mout Everest.. in speedos.
Rated 3.59/5 (17 Votes)
I once had a fight with Chuck Norris. Within three second he had twisted me into an animal balloon.
Rated 2.75/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris one played a game of pool and sunk every ball in one shot using a toothpick.
Rated 2.83/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck Norris`s car is powered by his aura.
Rated 3/5 (13 Votes)
As a party joke. Chuck Norris turns people inside out.
Rated 2.88/5 (8 Votes)
Chuck Norris gives the sun sun stroke.
Rated 3.68/5 (22 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't produce sperm. He produces little white ninjas that only have one mission...Search and Destroy.
Rated 3.88/5 (25 Votes)