Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris was asked to play a wood instrument in the school band. He showed up with a baseball bat and asked, "So who's first?".
Rated 4.09/5 (22 Votes)
Chuck Norris once tried surfing. The following day the National Weather Service created the Tsunami Warning Center.
Rated 3.65/5 (20 Votes)
In Japan, Godzilla is spelled Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.11/5 (44 Votes)
Australia was a part of Texas until Chuck Norris round house kicked them half way around the world for talking funny.
Rated 3.4/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris will never be allowed in the Olympic Games because his discipline is Killing Time.
Rated 3.5/5 (10 Votes)
If given a choice to fight 10 hungry lions in a cage or Chuck Norris most people choose Chuck Norris because death will come much sooner.
Rated 3.6/5 (15 Votes)
In 1939, the entire world went to war as a preemptive strike against Chuck Norris' birth one year later.
Rated 2.21/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris CAN text while driving.
Rated 3.19/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris once robbed himself and doubled his profit.
Rated 4.1/5 (218 Votes)
If Chuck Norris went black, he'd come back.
Rated 4/5 (27 Votes)
When Chuck Norris gives you a dutch oven, you actually burn.
Rated 2.79/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris does not wear long sleeved shirts, he wears tank tops with sheaths.
Rated 3.82/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris has eyes in the back of YOUR head.
Rated 4/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris eats testoster O's for breakfast every morning.
Rated 3.13/5 (8 Votes)
Chuck Norris keeps 45% of the worlds medical staff employed.
Rated 3.67/5 (12 Votes)
Spammers are careful not to include Chuck Norris in their email lists because he always replies...with a roundhouse kick to the face.
Rated 3.42/5 (12 Votes)
If Chuck Norris added you on Facebook, you dont have a choice if you want to accept or not.
Rated 3.93/5 (14 Votes)
If you ask Chuck Norris, "How many fingers am I holding up", he looks at your toes and gets the right answer.
Rated 3.55/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris picks strawberries from an apple tree.
Rated 3.88/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris once round housed kicked someone so hard they had internal bleeding on the outside.
Rated 3.64/5 (14 Votes)