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Chuck Norris was asked to play a wood instrument in the school band. He showed up with a baseball bat and asked, "So who's first?".

Rated 4.09/5 (22 Votes)

Chuck Norris once tried surfing. The following day the National Weather Service created the Tsunami Warning Center.

Rated 3.65/5 (20 Votes)

In Japan, Godzilla is spelled Chuck Norris.

Rated 4.11/5 (44 Votes)

Australia was a part of Texas until Chuck Norris round house kicked them half way around the world for talking funny.

Rated 3.4/5 (25 Votes)

Chuck Norris will never be allowed in the Olympic Games because his discipline is Killing Time.

Rated 3.5/5 (10 Votes)

If given a choice to fight 10 hungry lions in a cage or Chuck Norris most people choose Chuck Norris because death will come much sooner.

Rated 3.6/5 (15 Votes)

In 1939, the entire world went to war as a preemptive strike against Chuck Norris' birth one year later.

Rated 2.21/5 (14 Votes)

Chuck Norris CAN text while driving.

Rated 3.13/5 (15 Votes)

Chuck Norris once robbed himself and doubled his profit.

Rated 4.14/5 (210 Votes)

If Chuck Norris went black, he'd come back.

Rated 3.96/5 (26 Votes)

When Chuck Norris gives you a dutch oven, you actually burn.

Rated 2.79/5 (14 Votes)

Chuck Norris does not wear long sleeved shirts, he wears tank tops with sheaths.

Rated 3.82/5 (11 Votes)

Chuck Norris has eyes in the back of YOUR head.

Rated 4/5 (15 Votes)

Chuck Norris eats testoster O's for breakfast every morning.

Rated 3.13/5 (8 Votes)

Chuck Norris keeps 45% of the worlds medical staff employed.

Rated 3.67/5 (12 Votes)

Spammers are careful not to include Chuck Norris in their email lists because he always replies...with a roundhouse kick to the face.

Rated 3.42/5 (12 Votes)

If Chuck Norris added you on Facebook, you dont have a choice if you want to accept or not.

Rated 3.85/5 (13 Votes)

If you ask Chuck Norris, "How many fingers am I holding up", he looks at your toes and gets the right answer.

Rated 3.55/5 (11 Votes)

Chuck Norris picks strawberries from an apple tree.

Rated 3.88/5 (17 Votes)

Chuck Norris once round housed kicked someone so hard they had internal bleeding on the outside.

Rated 3.64/5 (14 Votes)
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