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Chuck Norris is the only man known to have actually kicked a habit.

Rated 3.6/5 (10 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't hit it and quit it, he hits it and destroys it.

Rated 4/5 (14 Votes)

Chuck Norris has the heart of the cowardly lion.

Rated 1.55/5 (20 Votes)

Chuck Norris has a tattoo that says "MOM" on his fist.

Rated 1.69/5 (13 Votes)

Chuck Norris plays bingo, with a paint ball gun.

Rated 4/5 (15 Votes)

Chuck Norris has a purple heart.

Rated 3.06/5 (16 Votes)

Chuck Norris' fortune cookie reads "whatever you say boss".

Rated 4.11/5 (18 Votes)

Chuck Norris had to breastfeed his own mom when he was born.

Rated 2.21/5 (14 Votes)

Chcuk Norris invented Flag Football so he wouldnt have to put a hurtin' on nobody.

Rated 3.86/5 (7 Votes)

Chuck Norris can not fist pump due to the catastrophic events that would occur afterword.

Rated 3.81/5 (16 Votes)

Chuck Norris refuses to buy Skittles. He tells the sky to rain and roundhouses the rainbow.

Rated 4/5 (9 Votes)

If you can't beat them, join them. Chuck Norris joins them, and then beats them.

Rated 4.11/5 (37 Votes)

The nursery rhyme London Bridges is a factual account of what happened when the English angered Chuck Norris, the ending was changed so it would be suitable for all ages.

Rated 3.07/5 (14 Votes)

Little kids look up to superheroes for protection. Super heroes look up to Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.75/5 (20 Votes)

The ancient Mayans predicted that on December, 21 2012 Chuck Norris would get angry.

Rated 3.98/5 (46 Votes)

Cars have to pull along the side of the road for ambulances, ambulances have to pull off to the side for Chuck Norris.

Rated 2.8/5 (10 Votes)

Chuck Norris edits his pictures with vi.

Rated 2.8/5 (15 Votes)

All five dentists recommend that you do exactly what Chuck Norris tells you to do.

Rated 4/5 (14 Votes)

Chuck Norris knows the secret to the Crabby Pattie Secret Formula. There is suspicion that Chuck Norris is the Crabby Pattie Secret Formula.

Rated 3.06/5 (18 Votes)

Chuck Norris can beat you in a stariring contest with his eyes closed.

Rated 3.76/5 (25 Votes)
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