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Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes

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Chuck Norris slept with your mom then your dad gave him a high five.

Rated 2.95/5 (19 Votes)

Mr. Owl, how many kicks does it take for Chuck Norris to kill you? Just one!

Rated 3.67/5 (15 Votes)

Chuck Norris can go around the world in 79 days.

Rated 2.9/5 (10 Votes)

Chuck Norris is dangers middle name!

Rated 2.83/5 (12 Votes)

Once Mike Tyson punched Chuck Norris so hard in the nuts. Mike Tyson needed major surgery.

Rated 3.67/5 (9 Votes)

Chuck Norris invented the laws of physics just so he could break them.

Rated 4.11/5 (18 Votes)

It has been confirmed that eating pop rocks and soda together will cause an explosion in your belly. Chuck Norris tested it, twice.

Rated 3.4/5 (10 Votes)

The Boarded Lady said that she got her masculine features by standing too close to Chuck Norris. Doctors believe that standing next to Ryan Seacrest will reverse the affect.

Rated 3.33/5 (21 Votes)

Chuck Norris invented the wheel, the train, and the rocket so normal folks could keep up.

Rated 3.26/5 (19 Votes)

The world won't end until Chuck Norris gets bored.

Rated 2.67/5 (15 Votes)

For centuries, prophets have said the world would come to an end, and it did-- Walker Texas Ranger was canceled.

Rated 3.29/5 (21 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't need to drink beer. He can intoxicate himself with his own reflection.

Rated 2.21/5 (14 Votes)

Chuck Norris could never play a super hero because technically he would be revealing his secret identity.

Rated 2.69/5 (16 Votes)

Chuck Norris picks his nose and eats it. You got a problem with that?

Rated 1.58/5 (26 Votes)

Chuck Norris never takes a crap. He takes crap from no one, including himself.

Rated 3.31/5 (16 Votes)

Chuck Norris likes sunny days and long walks on the beach....but only after gunning down a vietnamese pre-school.

Rated 2.47/5 (17 Votes)

STDs are afraid of getting infected with Chuck Norris

Rated 3.59/5 (22 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't get hemorrhoids. He gets asteroids.

Rated 2.33/5 (12 Votes)

Bigfoot does not exist. What people actually saw was a naked Chuck Norris with a bear scarf.

Rated 3.56/5 (18 Votes)

Chuck Norris's boots are not made of leather. There is no animal skin tough enough to withstand the pressure of being a Chuck Norris shoe. His boots are actually made from remnants of his beard and his skin particles.

Rated 3.25/5 (8 Votes)
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