Browse Through Our Collection of 5,219 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
In an act of sheer awesome-ness, Rick Astley opened his email to receive a roundhouse kick to the face and a message that read "You just got Chuck-rolled!".
Rated 2.47/5 (19 Votes)
Using his chest & back hairs... Chuck Norris brought sexy back. And it was forever grateful to him.
Rated 3/5 (9 Votes)
People have common sense. Chuck Norris has instinct.
Rated 2.27/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris Changed Olympic Sprinting forever when he told all of the sprinters that he would roundhouse them if they didnt win.
Olympic sprinting is no longer based on speed, it is now based on hoow much you believe Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.39/5 (18 Votes)
When Chuck Norris crosses the road the cars have to look both ways.
Rated 3.68/5 (19 Votes)
The government bails out banks. Chuck Norris bails out the government.
Rated 3.14/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris is the ultimate diet plan. He can roundhouse kick the fat right out of you.
Rated 3.53/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris can play basketball with a football.
Rated 3.52/5 (27 Votes)
If Chuck Norris is your friend, he will never stab you in the back. Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick you in the face.
Rated 4.08/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris smiled one time. His beard hides the scars.
Rated 3.4/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris knows when Santa Claus is awake.
Rated 4.12/5 (107 Votes)
Chuck Norris can slap the taste out your mouth.
Rated 3.07/5 (14 Votes)
Instead of doing a crossword puzzle, Chuck Norris solves the Da Vinci Code every morning.
Rated 3.6/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris can beat the final boss in Mushihimesama Futari with less than one credit. In fact, the machine pays him to play.
Rated 1.91/5 (11 Votes)
A doctor once tested Chuck Norris for steroids, and he tested positive. When the doctor asked why, Chuck Norris said, "What do you think steroids are made of?".
Rated 3.57/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris fought the law, and Chuck Norris won.
Rated 3.05/5 (19 Votes)
Chuck Norris can find nemo in the sahara desert.
Rated 3.95/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris can chug a fifth of moonshine and still be sober.
Rated 3.08/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris can paste before he copies.
Rated 4.07/5 (45 Votes)
The only hand that can beat a Royal Flush in Poker is Chuck Norris' fist.
Rated 3.67/5 (18 Votes)