Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
To be, or not to be? That is the question. The answer: Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.76/5 (17 Votes)
There is only one thing that makes the world go round......A Chuck Norris roundhouse kick!
Rated 2.81/5 (16 Votes)
Zeus is the Greek God of thunder. Chuck Norris is the Greek God of Zeus.
Rated 3.61/5 (18 Votes)
You can snap your fingers in a Z-formation...Chuck Norris can snap YOU in a Z-formation.
Rated 3/5 (14 Votes)
Lil' Wayne can make your bed rock...Chuck Norris can make the Earth rock.
Rated 3.68/5 (28 Votes)
Chuck Norris can moonwalk. Forwards.
Rated 2.73/5 (15 Votes)
If Chuck Norris is running late, time better slow down.
Rated 3.53/5 (17 Votes)
In the 'Chuck Norris Video Game' it doesn't matter which buttons you push because they all do the same move: Round House Kick To The Face.
Rated 2.91/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't have emotions, he shows his feelings with a series of punches and roundhouse kicks.
Rated 3/5 (8 Votes)
Why is Goldman Sachs in trouble? Chuck Norris shorted them.
Rated 2.71/5 (7 Votes)
CHuck Norris can play Assassins Creed II without internet connection.
Rated 3.62/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris has been struck by lightning in the same place twice. Both times his beard absorbed the shock.
Rated 2.71/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris once asked a cashier if he could get change for a penny...and he got it.
Rated 3.86/5 (22 Votes)
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
Rated 4.12/5 (585 Votes)
When one of his neighbors cut down a tree on his property without permission, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked each of the neighbor's limbs off and said "The only stumps I like are bloody stumps.".
Rated 3/5 (13 Votes)
In eating contests, Chuck Norris calmly waits for everyone else to become fully stuffed. Then he eats the person who ate the most.
Rated 4.13/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris has hemophilia; however, this poses no problem for him because he never bleeds.
Rated 2.92/5 (13 Votes)
A famous physicist once claimed decades ago that no one could create a perpetual motion machine. Chuck Norris gave him a roundhouse kick to the face and his head hasn't stopped spinning to this day.
Rated 3.71/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris can build a house with only paper and tape.
Rated 2.88/5 (16 Votes)
The song 10,000 Fists by Disturbed is about Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.06/5 (18 Votes)