Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack...
even a heart isnt foolish enough to attack Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.2/5 (2467 Votes)
The combination to a lock is any combination Chuck Norris wants.
Rated 3.83/5 (23 Votes)
If Chuck Norris spilled wine on his shirt, you better buy him a new one.
Rated 3/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris can watch two movies before the previews start.
Rated 3.43/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris cannot be seen on surveillance video.
Rated 3.9/5 (21 Votes)
A batter broke his bat when Chuck Norris tossed a marble at it.
Rated 3.63/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris is banned from playing baseball. He only hits Home Runs.
Rated 3.24/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris knows letters before A.
Rated 4/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris will cause 2012.
Rated 3/5 (15 Votes)
The secret ingredient to the Krabby Patty is Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.72/5 (18 Votes)
You bought a slice of pizza. If Chuck Norris says it's a hamburger, then it's a hamburger.
Rated 3.89/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris eats toothpicks as a snack between dinner and dessert.
Rated 3.2/5 (15 Votes)
After Chuck Norris turned off the bedroom light, he had 8 hours of sleep before the room got dark.
Rated 3.25/5 (16 Votes)
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he was of legal age to drink, smoke and drive.
Rated 2.79/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris can play Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 5 in E-flat major with his elbows.
Rated 3.57/5 (14 Votes)
When driving, Chuck Norris always has the right of way.
Rated 4.08/5 (52 Votes)
Chuck Norris can count 1 - 1000 and backwards in a blink of an eye.
Rated 2.44/5 (16 Votes)
If Chuck Norris starts clapping, you better start singing.
Rated 3.55/5 (22 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't eat cow, he eats Red Bulls.
Rated 2.67/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris can fly a real plane using Flight Simulator.
Rated 4.07/5 (14 Votes)