Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris can speak Chinese in all different languages.
Rated 3.93/5 (14 Votes)
Johnny Cash walked the line, Chuck Norris walked across the line and to this day no one has ever asked
Rated 3.14/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris likes his ice crushed. Same with his skulls.
Rated 3/5 (13 Votes)
A man on his way to work tries to avoid crashing into a car ahead of him. Seeing that it's Chuck Norris in that car and he had no time to stop, the man comitted suicide.
Rated 2.43/5 (14 Votes)
A flight from JFK to Paris would take 7 and a half hours. With Chuck Norris on board, it's 7 and a half minutes.
Rated 3/5 (10 Votes)
When Chuck Norris rides on a train, he can tell the driver where to go and let him off.
Rated 3.58/5 (12 Votes)
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he set a world record for eating 14 jawbreakers in 14 seconds.
Rated 2.25/5 (8 Votes)
Chuck Norris CAN get blood from a turnip-and anything else he roundhouse kicks.
Rated 2.85/5 (13 Votes)
No one knows who Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks because they do not die, but get erased from the fabric of existence itself.
Rated 3.43/5 (14 Votes)
Dracula was inspired when bram stoker saw Chuck Norris chewing on a human neck.
Rated 3/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris can make juicy hamburgers using only potatoes.
Rated 3.67/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris once jumped 35,000 ft. from an airplane and into the ocean to save a dying whale.
Rated 3.1/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris uploaded videos on You Tube in the early 80's.
Rated 3.31/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris knows the color that's darker than black.
Rated 3.75/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck Norris drinks air when no water is available.
Rated 3.59/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris can take a burrito and make Hennessey with it.
Rated 2.7/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't cook food. Food is prepared by the nearest, hottest woman.
Rated 3/5 (12 Votes)
Murphyls Law says that anything that can go wrong will, it doesn't work with Chuck Norris, it wouldn't dare!
Rated 3.44/5 (16 Votes)
Kesha wakes up feeling like Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.5/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't fart, air leaves his body in despair.
Rated 3.13/5 (15 Votes)