Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris can kick you in the face.....with his fist.
Rated 3.68/5 (19 Votes)
When you die the white light you see is not heaven. It`s the trail left by Chuck Norris after he`s roundhouse kicked you.
Rated 2.88/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris can play heavy metal guitar on a banjo.
Rated 3.69/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris base jumps without a parachute.
Rated 3.56/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris has a policy of not passing gas in public. Not because he's being well-mannered, but because he will utterly incinerate every single thing in the general area behind him to complete nothingness.
Rated 3.63/5 (19 Votes)
In a fight between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris, who would lose? Everyone else.
Rated 3.7/5 (23 Votes)
Chuck Norris once stepped on a mine... He then proceeded to buy new shoes.
Rated 3.81/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris can two-step with one foot.
Rated 3.96/5 (46 Votes)
Chuck Norris never lost his baby teeth. They simply man-ed up with him since they had no choice.
Rated 3.21/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris melted Vanilla Ice.
Rated 2.65/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris killed the tiger, so now Rocky Balboa is the "Eye of Chuck Norris".
Rated 3.11/5 (19 Votes)
Chuck Norris invented his own religion: "In the name of the Foot, the Fist, and the Roundhouse Kick. Amen".
Rated 3.08/5 (13 Votes)
All your base are belong to Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.33/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris does not obey the speed limit, because you cannot put a limit on Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.91/5 (94 Votes)
Chuck Norris made Dropkick Murphys the Roundhousekick Murphys.
Rated 3.44/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris once ate two ghost chilis. They made him blink.
Rated 3.27/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris can Eat Dinosaurs and Piss Crude Oil.
Rated 3.93/5 (29 Votes)
Chuck Norris can get an eye exam blind folded.
Rated 3.71/5 (28 Votes)
When Chuck Norris gets drunk, he speaks fluent spanish.
Rated 2.29/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris was born on February 30th.
Rated 4/5 (30 Votes)