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When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.

Rated 4.17/5 (3842 Votes)

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Rated 4.07/5 (171 Votes)

Chuck Norris can rhyme purple with orange.

Rated 3.88/5 (85 Votes)

Chuck Norris slept with a guy. He's not gay, he just ran out of girls to sleep with.

Rated 2.72/5 (93 Votes)

Black cats don't walk by and curse Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris curses black cats.

Rated 3.47/5 (60 Votes)

Chuck Norris fought The Grim Reaper, Satan, and Evil Santa with one hand and won.

Rated 3.7/5 (64 Votes)

Chuck Norris fought an atom bomb explosion and won-twice.

Rated 3.88/5 (57 Votes)

Chuck Norris can eat unsolved Rubix cubes and poo them out solved.

Rated 3.62/5 (79 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't lay carpet, carpet lays itself down in fear of Chuck Norris.

Rated 2.75/5 (53 Votes)

Chuck Norris jokes/facts aren't funny unless Chuck Norris says you can laugh.

Rated 3.54/5 (80 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't have layers of skin. He just has layers of tight denim.

Rated 3.09/5 (43 Votes)

Chuck Norris wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth. It was in fact a rusty shovel.

Rated 3.4/5 (53 Votes)

The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.

Rated 4.17/5 (3292 Votes)

Mosquitos dont bite Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris bites mosquitos and makes them itchy.

Rated 3.43/5 (68 Votes)

If your touched by the hand of God you will be blessed. If your touched by the hand of Chuck Norris you will be Dead!

Rated 3.39/5 (54 Votes)

Cyclones are the after effect left by the vortex of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. If you ever see a double cyclone, Chuck Norris is obviously giving someone a royal ass kicking!

Rated 3.37/5 (68 Votes)

Chuck Norris sprinkles granulated Kryptonite over his breakfast cereal.

Rated 3.77/5 (57 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't dodge the rain, the rain dodges Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.32/5 (47 Votes)

Chuck Norris is not a man... a man is Chuck Norris.

Rated 2.49/5 (59 Votes)

Chuck Norris can can call someone in San Fransico from London. When the other person picks up, it's Chuck Norris.

Rated 2.91/5 (54 Votes)
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