Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad
he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
Rated 4.19/5 (3811 Votes)
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Rated 4.1/5 (168 Votes)
Chuck Norris can rhyme purple with orange.
Rated 3.94/5 (82 Votes)
Chuck Norris slept with a guy. He's not gay, he just ran out of girls to sleep with.
Rated 2.76/5 (91 Votes)
Black cats don't walk by and curse Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris curses black cats.
Rated 3.55/5 (58 Votes)
Chuck Norris fought The Grim Reaper, Satan, and Evil Santa with one hand and won.
Rated 3.79/5 (62 Votes)
Chuck Norris fought an atom bomb explosion and won-twice.
Rated 3.95/5 (55 Votes)
Chuck Norris can eat unsolved Rubix cubes and poo them out solved.
Rated 3.7/5 (76 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't lay carpet, carpet lays itself down in fear of Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.82/5 (51 Votes)
Chuck Norris jokes/facts aren't funny unless Chuck Norris says you can laugh.
Rated 3.59/5 (78 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't have layers of skin. He just has layers of tight denim.
Rated 3.17/5 (41 Votes)
Chuck Norris wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth. It was in fact
a rusty shovel.
Rated 3.47/5 (51 Votes)
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is
brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Rated 4.18/5 (3260 Votes)
Mosquitos dont bite Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris bites mosquitos and
makes them itchy.
Rated 3.48/5 (66 Votes)
If your touched by the hand of God you will be blessed. If your touched
by the hand of Chuck Norris you will be Dead!
Rated 3.48/5 (52 Votes)
Cyclones are the after effect left by the vortex of a Chuck Norris
roundhouse kick. If you ever see a double cyclone, Chuck Norris is
obviously giving someone a royal ass kicking!
Rated 3.44/5 (66 Votes)
Chuck Norris sprinkles granulated Kryptonite over his breakfast cereal.
Rated 3.87/5 (55 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't dodge the rain, the rain dodges Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.42/5 (45 Votes)
Chuck Norris is not a man... a man is Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.54/5 (57 Votes)
Chuck Norris can can call someone in San Fransico from London. When the other person picks up, it's Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.9/5 (50 Votes)