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Chuck Norris got attacked by Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris won.

Rated 2.55/5 (11 Votes)

Chuck Norris once ate the worlds largest pizza, without opening his mouth.

Rated 1.36/5 (11 Votes)

Chuck Norris can shoot you with a knife.

Rated 3.47/5 (19 Votes)

Chuck Norris’ mom didn’t have a natural birth. He Roundhouse kicked the inside of her stomach until it exploded.

Rated 3/5 (22 Votes)

Chuck Norris once was asked to do the kick off at a football game. He roundhouse kicked it so hard, that the ball just exploded and they had to find someone else to do the kickoff.

Rated 1.85/5 (13 Votes)

Chuck Norris always wins the jackpot in a slot machine. The slot machine is too afraid to refuse.

Rated 3.08/5 (13 Votes)

Chuck Norris is so tough, he replaced all of his bones with raw iron that is too afraid to rust.

Rated 2.18/5 (11 Votes)

Chuck Norris can ride to work on a stationary bike.

Rated 3.62/5 (13 Votes)

A UFO tried to abduct Chuck Norris once. When the aliens woke up three hours later, they had no memory of what had happened, but their watches had stopped and their asses were extremely sore...

Rated 3.29/5 (17 Votes)

Chuck Norris does not need to wait for his cell phone contract to expire before upgrading his phone. His service provider automatically sends him the latest model, ready for use, as soon as it is released..

Rated 2.21/5 (14 Votes)

Chuck Norris can run Windows Vista without it crashing...on a 286!

Rated 2.83/5 (18 Votes)

Pollen and dust are allergic to Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.15/5 (13 Votes)

Chuck Norris cannot tell knock-knock jokes because he just kicks the door in.

Rated 3.13/5 (15 Votes)

Who do The Ghostbusters call? Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.75/5 (16 Votes)

Chuck Norris CAN make a polygon with two straight lines.

Rated 2.31/5 (13 Votes)

You can't hurt Chuck Norris's feelings...... however, his feelings can sure as hell hurt you.

Rated 3.7/5 (20 Votes)

The only reason 3/4 rockets make it to space is becauz Chuck Norris stands below and farts upwards!!

Rated 1.59/5 (17 Votes)

Chuck Norris makes polar bears fly south for the winter.

Rated 3.59/5 (17 Votes)

Chuck Norris can win a game of blackjack with an uno card.

Rated 3.5/5 (24 Votes)

Chuck Norris uses hippies as fire wood.

Rated 3.95/5 (21 Votes)
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