Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris dos not get hit by cars; cars get hit by Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.42/5 (12 Votes)
The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.45/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris can make eye contact with your feet.
Rated 4.1/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris farted. They blamed it on Chernobyl.
Rated 3/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris can ignore you SO HARD that you never existed at all....
Rated 3.46/5 (13 Votes)
They wanted Chuck Norris to star in 24 but they didn't know what to do with the other 23 hours and 55 minutes.
Rated 3.29/5 (7 Votes)
Chuck Norris found Waldo once. Waldo has not been seen since.
Rated 3.93/5 (14 Votes)
If Chuck Norrisīs Car runs out of gas, he squeezes his enemies into fossil fuel...
Rated 3.57/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris travels to the Twilight Zone for a vacation.
Rated 3/5 (8 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't need hand sanitizer to kill germs.
Rated 3.3/5 (10 Votes)
There are no such thing as potholes...its just tracks of Chuck Norris when he goes jogging.
Rated 3.89/5 (9 Votes)
B.P's live cam of the oil spill is actually Chuch Norris holding a video cam.
Rated 2.91/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris does more by doing less.
Rated 3/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris isn't Irish, his hair is just streaked with the blood of his victims.
Rated 3/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky, shits out gun powder, makes the gun powder into a bullet which he uses to shoot another cow to make more beef jerky... This is known as the circle of life.
Rated 3.82/5 (33 Votes)
Chuck Norris invented his own line of jeans. When they tried to stone wash them, Chuck Norris' jeans pulverized the stone.
Rated 3.27/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris can beat a black hole in tug of war.
Rated 4.1/5 (86 Votes)
Silly Bandz are made from the intestines of all the men Chuck Norris has slaughtered in pure rage.
Rated 3.8/5 (10 Votes)
Do you know why they changed it from the 10 degrees of seperation to 6 degrees? Because Chuck Norris killed the other 4 people you don't know.
Rated 3.95/5 (19 Votes)
When you read the obituary and find your name with the time of death as "now", that's when Chuck Norris is behind you ready to strike.
Rated 3.44/5 (16 Votes)