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Chuck Norris dos not get hit by cars; cars get hit by Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.42/5 (12 Votes)

The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.45/5 (11 Votes)

Chuck Norris can make eye contact with your feet.

Rated 4.1/5 (10 Votes)

Chuck Norris farted. They blamed it on Chernobyl.

Rated 3/5 (9 Votes)

Chuck Norris can ignore you SO HARD that you never existed at all....

Rated 3.46/5 (13 Votes)

They wanted Chuck Norris to star in 24 but they didn't know what to do with the other 23 hours and 55 minutes.

Rated 3.29/5 (7 Votes)

Chuck Norris found Waldo once. Waldo has not been seen since.

Rated 3.93/5 (14 Votes)

If Chuck Norrisīs Car runs out of gas, he squeezes his enemies into fossil fuel...

Rated 3.57/5 (14 Votes)

Chuck Norris travels to the Twilight Zone for a vacation.

Rated 3/5 (8 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't need hand sanitizer to kill germs.

Rated 3.3/5 (10 Votes)

There are no such thing as potholes...its just tracks of Chuck Norris when he goes jogging.

Rated 3.89/5 (9 Votes)

B.P's live cam of the oil spill is actually Chuch Norris holding a video cam.

Rated 2.91/5 (11 Votes)

Chuck Norris does more by doing less.

Rated 3/5 (9 Votes)

Chuck Norris isn't Irish, his hair is just streaked with the blood of his victims.

Rated 3/5 (10 Votes)

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky, shits out gun powder, makes the gun powder into a bullet which he uses to shoot another cow to make more beef jerky... This is known as the circle of life.

Rated 3.82/5 (33 Votes)

Chuck Norris invented his own line of jeans. When they tried to stone wash them, Chuck Norris' jeans pulverized the stone.

Rated 3.27/5 (11 Votes)

Chuck Norris can beat a black hole in tug of war.

Rated 4.1/5 (86 Votes)

Silly Bandz are made from the intestines of all the men Chuck Norris has slaughtered in pure rage.

Rated 3.8/5 (10 Votes)

Do you know why they changed it from the 10 degrees of seperation to 6 degrees? Because Chuck Norris killed the other 4 people you don't know.

Rated 3.95/5 (19 Votes)

When you read the obituary and find your name with the time of death as "now", that's when Chuck Norris is behind you ready to strike.

Rated 3.44/5 (16 Votes)
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