Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris sharpens his knives with his beard.
Rated 3.85/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't have a bed time.
Rated 3.9/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles in his chocolate milk with the spoon.
Rated 3.78/5 (9 Votes)
Ninjas can punch through solid steel.
Chuck Norris can punch through solid ninjas and round house kick through solid diamond.
Rated 2.7/5 (10 Votes)
When you play chess with Chuck Norris, he always puts you in Chuck-mate.
Rated 3.78/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris ripped through the Iron Curtain.
Rated 3.17/5 (6 Votes)
When Chuck Norris was born The Lion King bowed down to him.
Rated 2.91/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris can jump rope with a hop scotch.
Rated 2.88/5 (8 Votes)
Chuck Norris can make midgets grow by round-house kicking them.......No test subjects have survived yet.
Rated 2.38/5 (8 Votes)
Chuck Norris can play a VHS tape in a DVD player.
Rated 3.45/5 (22 Votes)
Chuck Norris can make every color in the rainbow with the color magenta.
Rated 3.07/5 (14 Votes)
If Chuck Norris slept with your girlfriend it would be the best day of your life.
Rated 3.38/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris can beat scissors with paper.
Rated 3.81/5 (27 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't get dropped from a college class, he drops the professor.
Rated 3.14/5 (14 Votes)
The Death Star is just one of Chuck Norris's balls.
Rated 2.52/5 (29 Votes)
The newest version of Windows has a new user account; the Chuck Norris user. It can delete hardware.
Rated 3.44/5 (18 Votes)
Why was the fruit tree from the Garden of Eden forbidden? Because it was going to be Chuck Norris's lunch.
Rated 2.63/5 (16 Votes)
If Chuck Norris has 5 apples, and you take 2 away, you have about 3 seconds to give them back.
Rated 3.62/5 (26 Votes)
Mohammed is not allowed to draw pictures of Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.76/5 (33 Votes)
Even Chuck Norris' enemies list him as their emergency contact.
Rated 3.84/5 (25 Votes)