Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris can catch AND release a cold.
Rated 3.63/5 (19 Votes)
Ugly Betty used to be beautiful. Then Chuck Norris kicked her in the face.
Rated 3.42/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck Norris once ate a Rubik's cube with one of the colored stickers missing and crapped it out solved.
Rated 4.05/5 (19 Votes)
Chuck Norris can serve a life sentence in prison and live to talk about it.
Rated 4.04/5 (28 Votes)
Chuck Norris can cut a diamond with glass.
Rated 3.67/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck Norris watched 2 girls 1 cup, and got a craving for some chocolate ice cream immediately after.
Rated 3.22/5 (23 Votes)
What goes around comes around, except when it sees Chuck Norris it keeps going and never comes around again.
Rated 3.8/5 (15 Votes)
Zombies are what you get when you try to be Chuck Norris for halloween.
Rated 3.09/5 (11 Votes)
During the night, Chuck Norris's beard goes out to buy cigarettes for kids.
Rated 1.75/5 (12 Votes)
Every horror movie monster and every explosion in a movie is really just Chuck Norris taking his shirt off.
Rated 2.5/5 (10 Votes)
Viagra is just a tablet made of Chuck Norris earwax.
Rated 3.31/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris can eat a cow and crap 5 big macs and a happy meal.
Rated 3.7/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris bathes in hydrochloric acid and brushes his teeth with a grinding wheel.
Rated 3.64/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris can explain color to a blind person.
Rated 3.57/5 (30 Votes)
When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the beer gets drunk.
Rated 3.96/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris can update his facebook from myspace.
Rated 3.56/5 (16 Votes)
Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris, but usually they grow up to be killed by Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.15/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris can fly two jets simultaneously with an x-box 360 controller.
Rated 3.07/5 (15 Votes)
Steven hawking thought he was smarter then Chuck Norris, he got what he diserved.
Rated 1.87/5 (15 Votes)
When Chuck Norris crosses the street, cars look both ways.
Rated 4.05/5 (22 Votes)