Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris bit off Mike Tyson's ear.
Rated 3.2/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris wears sunscreen to protect the sun from his own skin.
Rated 3.5/5 (8 Votes)
Chuck Norris started the cowboy hat trend.
Rated 2.5/5 (6 Votes)
Chuck Norris can look good in skinny jeans...
No matter how huge his awesome span gets.
Rated 3/5 (7 Votes)
Chuck Norris can fix stupid.
Rated 3.94/5 (17 Votes)
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick Chuck Norris' nose. Not without receiving a prompt roundhouse kick.
Rated 2.08/5 (13 Votes)
You don't dream about Chuck Norris, he enters your dreams as he pleases.
Rated 3.6/5 (10 Votes)
With Chuck Norris, there is a 100% chance of clouds and ass kicks.
Rated 2.43/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't go over the river, he goes through it.
Rated 2.63/5 (8 Votes)
Chuck Norris eat's his meat so rare he eat's unicorn.
Rated 2.67/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris drank Dracula's blood.
Rated 2.58/5 (12 Votes)
The first law of Chuck states: a roundhouse in motion stays in motion until acted upon by the face of anyone opposing Chuck.
Rated 3.7/5 (150 Votes)
When Chuck Norris crashes into a moose, the moose gets totaled.
Rated 3.88/5 (8 Votes)
When Chuck Norris plays chess, he wins when the first piece on the board is moved, even when he's playing black.
Rated 4.09/5 (33 Votes)
Chuck Norris can wipe your memory...with a roundhouse kick.
Rated 1.89/5 (9 Votes)
Pick a person, any person, the person you picked is exactly 1 inch shorter than Chuck Norris. Yes, even Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.64/5 (11 Votes)
In space Chuck Norris can hear you scream.
Rated 4.13/5 (147 Votes)
Chuck Norris went around the world...by standing still.
Rated 3.67/5 (491 Votes)
Chick Norris can straighten twisted thoughts.
Rated 3.57/5 (7 Votes)
How can you tell if there's a samurai under your bed? You'll hear, "HIIYA!"
How can you tell if there's an elephant under your bed? It's in the basement.
How can you tell Chuck Norris is under your bed? You see dead people walking around perfectly normal.
Rated 2.25/5 (12 Votes)