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Chuck Norris can squeeze blood from a stone.

Rated 3.97/5 (90 Votes)

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.

Rated 4.16/5 (2969 Votes)

Chuck Norris had a staring contest with Medusa, and won.

Rated 3.92/5 (71 Votes)

Chuck Norris once kicked a ball so hard it broke the space time continuum, knocked out Amelia Eirhart, and sent her plane into the Pacific.

Rated 3.11/5 (53 Votes)

Chuck Norris let the dogs out.

Rated 3.75/5 (72 Votes)

If you look up Chuck Norris in the dictionary, it has no definition, just a picture of a skull.

Rated 2.88/5 (52 Votes)

When the Master Chief took off his helmet, it appeared to be Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.49/5 (67 Votes)

The original Lord of the Rings book had Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. Except the book was 5 pages long, as he kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.

Rated 3.57/5 (67 Votes)

Chuck Norris was born by c-section. Which he did himself from in the womb with a roundhouse kick.

Rated 3.55/5 (47 Votes)

Chuck Norris once punched a man back into a monkey. Therefore proving evolution at the same time.

Rated 3.45/5 (58 Votes)

Chuck Norris wasn't born. He was always there.

Rated 3.22/5 (60 Votes)

When people ask why Chuck Norris hardly ever uses a weapon he replies, "it's already easy enough."

Rated 3.52/5 (50 Votes)

There was once an old lady who lived in a shoe. Unfortunately, the shoe belonged to Chuck Norris. The old lady hasn't been seen since 1932.

Rated 3.67/5 (43 Votes)

Chuck Norris did a round house kick so hard he went back in time to stop the bullet that killed President Kennedy, but in amazement Kennedy's head exploded.

Rated 3.42/5 (64 Votes)

Chuck Norris peed in a can and we now call it red bull.

Rated 3.29/5 (49 Votes)

Chuck Norris' beard is so thick, you can make a kevlar vest out of it and use it in the army to protect you. No one is as strong as Chuck Norris.

Rated 2.12/5 (49 Votes)

Chuck Norris' beard is so strong he has a little helping fist in it.

Rated 2.26/5 (50 Votes)

When Chuck Norris touches fire, the fire gets burnt. No one burns Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.71/5 (136 Votes)

Chuck Norris once farted Beethoven.

Rated 3.78/5 (80 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't breath Air. Air breath Chuck Norris

Rated 2.74/5 (42 Votes)
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