Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris can squeeze blood from a stone.
Rated 3.97/5 (90 Votes)
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
Rated 4.16/5 (2969 Votes)
Chuck Norris had a staring contest with Medusa, and won.
Rated 3.92/5 (71 Votes)
Chuck Norris once kicked a ball so hard it broke the space time continuum, knocked out Amelia Eirhart, and sent her plane into the Pacific.
Rated 3.11/5 (53 Votes)
Chuck Norris let the dogs out.
Rated 3.75/5 (72 Votes)
If you look up Chuck Norris in the dictionary, it has no definition, just a picture of a skull.
Rated 2.88/5 (52 Votes)
When the Master Chief took off his helmet, it appeared to be Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.49/5 (67 Votes)
The original Lord of the Rings book had Chuck Norris instead of Frodo
Baggins. Except the book was 5 pages long, as he kicked Sauron's ass
halfway through the first chapter.
Rated 3.57/5 (67 Votes)
Chuck Norris was born by c-section. Which he did himself from in the womb with a roundhouse kick.
Rated 3.55/5 (47 Votes)
Chuck Norris once punched a man back into a monkey. Therefore proving
evolution at the same time.
Rated 3.45/5 (58 Votes)
Chuck Norris wasn't born. He was always there.
Rated 3.22/5 (60 Votes)
When people ask why Chuck Norris hardly ever uses a weapon he replies, "it's already easy enough."
Rated 3.52/5 (50 Votes)
There was once an old lady who lived in a shoe. Unfortunately, the shoe
belonged to Chuck Norris. The old lady hasn't been seen since 1932.
Rated 3.67/5 (43 Votes)
Chuck Norris did a round house kick so hard he went back in time to stop the bullet that killed President Kennedy, but in amazement Kennedy's head exploded.
Rated 3.42/5 (64 Votes)
Chuck Norris peed in a can and we now call it red bull.
Rated 3.29/5 (49 Votes)
Chuck Norris' beard is so thick, you can make a kevlar vest out of it and use it in the army to protect you. No one is as strong as Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.12/5 (49 Votes)
Chuck Norris' beard is so strong he has a little helping fist in it.
Rated 2.26/5 (50 Votes)
When Chuck Norris touches fire, the fire gets burnt. No one burns Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.71/5 (136 Votes)
Chuck Norris once farted Beethoven.
Rated 3.78/5 (80 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't breath Air. Air breath Chuck Norris
Rated 2.74/5 (42 Votes)