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Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes

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The Amazon River is living proof that humans can survive as liquids...and that Chuck Norris really hates online store owners.

Rated 1.93/5 (15 Votes)

In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.

Rated 2.8/5 (20 Votes)

Chuck Norris has a pet veloceraptor. He got it at a candy store three years ago.

Rated 2.84/5 (19 Votes)

Chuck Norris can strike lightning in the same place twice.

Rated 3.16/5 (19 Votes)

Chuck Norris can play yu-gi-oh, with baseball cards.

Rated 3.16/5 (19 Votes)

A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Rated 3.77/5 (26 Votes)

Chuck Norris got his girlfriend pregnant. It just so happened that his girlfriend was 3 states away at the time of conception.

Rated 3.22/5 (18 Votes)

Bloody noses happen because Chuck Norris thought about roundhouse kicking you in the face, but then changed his mind.

Rated 3.52/5 (25 Votes)

The THX sound is actually a recording of Chuck Norris' yawn.

Rated 3.82/5 (22 Votes)

When Chuck Norris shoots a free throw, someone else has to pay.

Rated 2.09/5 (11 Votes)

Pluto disappeared because Chuck Norris just gave it a "small push" according to him.

Rated 2.08/5 (12 Votes)

Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.

Rated 2.68/5 (22 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't buy lottery tickets because it wouldn't be fair.

Rated 3.25/5 (20 Votes)

Chuck Norris struck out Cliff Lee, with 4 balls.

Rated 2.08/5 (12 Votes)

Criss angel learns magic tricks from Chuck Norris.

Rated 2.33/5 (18 Votes)

Chuck Norris can ride over you with a parked car.

Rated 3.33/5 (18 Votes)

Chuck Norris has no estrogen, but it's compensated by his testosteron level of 900%.

Rated 3/5 (10 Votes)

Chuck Norris uses dry ice to warm up his drinks!

Rated 2.65/5 (20 Votes)

Chuck Norris invented oatmeal when he round house kicked a quaker.

Rated 2.84/5 (19 Votes)

Chuck Norris is the reason Elvis left the building.

Rated 2.95/5 (22 Votes)
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