Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris is the fourth musketeer.
Rated 3.44/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris makes fish sandwiches by battering your face.
Rated 3.23/5 (13 Votes)
The Joker is permanently smiling because he once heard Chuck Norris tell a joke.
Rated 4.07/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris makes Weebles fall down.
Rated 3.22/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't get hot, he just gets sexy.
Rated 3/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris gets high off of carbon monoxide.
Rated 3.42/5 (12 Votes)
When Chuck Norris calls his wife
by the wrong name she answers.
Rated 2.75/5 (8 Votes)
Chuck Norris is only scared of 1 person... Mama Norris.
Rated 3.93/5 (28 Votes)
Chuck Norris does not use a tripod because nothing stands up to Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.25/5 (20 Votes)
Sharks dedicate a week to Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.73/5 (11 Votes)
It has been discovered the 7 wonders of the world were actually Chuck Norris' science fair projects.
Rated 3.5/5 (12 Votes)
One Million Persians were defeated by 300 Spartans. One Million Spartans were defeated by Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.83/5 (18 Votes)
A list was voted on for the greatest inventor of all time. There was a close race between Einstein, Tesla, Franklin, and the Wright brothers for 2nd place. 1st place was a unanimous decision for Chuck Norris' Mom.
Rated 3.31/5 (13 Votes)
The opening in a pencil sharpener is called a Chuck, if you stick your finger in that you will get the same result as when sticking your finger in Chuck Norris' face.
Rated 2.82/5 (11 Votes)
Aliens abduct humans, but Chuck Norris abducts Aliens.
Rated 3.11/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris eats babys and craps out delta force agents.
Rated 3.36/5 (14 Votes)
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.33/5 (24 Votes)
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Rated 3.97/5 (96 Votes)
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
Rated 2.75/5 (20 Votes)
Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.
Rated 3.18/5 (11 Votes)