Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Rated 3.14/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris was annoyed by the noise coming from his neighbor's house. So he moved his neighbor's house.
Rated 3.3/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris CAN put mm's in alphabetical order.
Rated 3.65/5 (37 Votes)
When Chuck Norris puts money in the parking meter, a gumball comes out.
Rated 3.88/5 (32 Votes)
The only way Chuck Norris can die is if he wants to.
Rated 2.91/5 (23 Votes)
There's a reason China is the most populated country in the world. It's as far away on the planet as you can get from Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.7/5 (27 Votes)
Chuck Norris can score a hole in one in football, touchdown in baseball, and a homerun in golf.
Rated 3.6/5 (20 Votes)
Staring at Chuck Norris is bad for the sun.
Rated 3.95/5 (38 Votes)
Chuck Norris' farts are not silent, but are deadly.
Rated 2.53/5 (19 Votes)
Chuck Norris once went to the North Pole, and then continued 50 miles further to the North.
Rated 3.55/5 (20 Votes)
Normal people are able to 'Poke' other people on Facebook. Chuck Norris is the only one able to click 'Round House Kick' on others.
Rated 3.11/5 (19 Votes)
When Chuck Norris goes swimming with Jaws, Jaws is the one that needs a bigger boat.
Rated 3.26/5 (19 Votes)
When Chuck Norris gets thrown in jail, he isn't trapped with other prisoners; the prisoners are trapped in there with him.
Rated 3.33/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris mathematically proved that the bird is the word.
Rated 3.83/5 (29 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't find the party, the party finds him.
Rated 2.9/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris hunted down and killed casper.
Rated 3.33/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris repaired the Metrodome roof using a needle and thread.
Rated 2.64/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesnt win, he just allows you to lose.
Rated 3.88/5 (42 Votes)
While America celebrates Thanksgiving Day, Chuck Norris celebrates Yourwelcomesgiving Day.
Rated 3.06/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris can jump 10 feet in the air.........on his hands.
Rated 2.8/5 (25 Votes)