Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
If you plan to race Chuck Norris in your Mercedes against his Kia, just quit now. (His Kia runs at 4.7 seconds at a quarter mile, like a drag car).
Rated 1.75/5 (16 Votes)
When Chuck Norris drinks Red Bull, he really does get wings.
Rated 2.68/5 (19 Votes)
Chuck Norris' German sheperd speaks German.
Rated 2.13/5 (16 Votes)
Jimmy cracked corn, Chuck Norris cracked Jimmy.
Rated 3.57/5 (30 Votes)
Chuck Norris can make cows from butter.
Rated 2.46/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris eats McDonalds at Kentucky Fried Chicken stores.
Rated 2.29/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris can Round House Kick Yao Ming in the Face.
Rated 2.31/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris was born May 6, 1945. The Nazi surrendered to us May 7, 1945. Coincidence? I don't think so!!!!!!!!
Rated 3.99/5 (142 Votes)
Chuck Norris informed homeland security that he would no longer be carrying I.D. People should now who he is.
Rated 3.25/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris once sang at a karaoke bar. Everyone committed suicide because it was too good to be true.
Rated 2.72/5 (18 Votes)
Every time Chuck Norris shaves the fist in his beard gets stronger and stronger.
Rated 1.88/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris gives aspirin a headache.
Rated 3.11/5 (18 Votes)
Sharks are so scared of Chuck Norris they have a week about him.
Rated 3.67/5 (30 Votes)
When Chuck Norris hits his funny bone, he laughs.
Rated 2.27/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris already has a 5D TV.
Rated 2.76/5 (17 Votes)
Once when challenged to fight, Chuck Norris said, "Wait while I unbutton my shirt, roll up my sleeves, and feather back my hair." When Chuck was finished, his opponent lay unconscious on the floor.
Rated 3.53/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't need sunblock when he goes to the beach, the sun needs Chuck Norris block.
Rated 2.91/5 (11 Votes)
Those big men escorting Chuck Norris during public appearances aren't body guards, they're in the Federal Witness Protection Program.
Rated 3.72/5 (36 Votes)
Chuck Norris has a beard because everytime he tries to shave, his hairs break the blades.
Rated 3.76/5 (34 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't win battles, he just allows you to loose.
Rated 2.53/5 (17 Votes)