Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
No swat teams are needed anymore. Just Chuck Norris with a bb-gun.
Rated 3.54/5 (46 Votes)
America went into the Great Depression when Chuck Norris misplaced his 5 dollars.
Rated 4.05/5 (66 Votes)
Chuck Norris died, went to hell. Roundhouse kicked the devil, and came back.
Rated 3.49/5 (55 Votes)
When Chuck Norris visited Washington DC in 1963, he asked President
Kennedy where his monument was. Unhappy with the President's reply,
Chuck Norris decided to unleash a roundhouse kick. When the JFK
visited Dallas later that year. Therefore, the Zapruder film is the
only known document that shows what a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick will
do to your head!
Rated 2.38/5 (53 Votes)
Chuck Norris only kills people the have it coming. We all have it
Rated 3/5 (44 Votes)
"I kill, therefore I am." -Chuck Norris
Rated 2.96/5 (55 Votes)
When Chuck Norris get in to fights all he has to do is say, "I win."
Rated 3.54/5 (48 Votes)
Chuck Norris makes blood bleed.
Rated 3.3/5 (56 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't vote for Presidents..Presidents vote for Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.45/5 (56 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't have recessive genes, they're all dominant.
Rated 3.89/5 (57 Votes)
Chuck Norris dared the red sea to stay whole.
Rated 3.26/5 (43 Votes)
There are no facts 'about' Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is 'about' facts.
Rated 2.54/5 (37 Votes)
"Darth I am your father." -Chuck Norris-
Rated 3.29/5 (62 Votes)
Chuck Norris is The Force.
Rated 3.74/5 (72 Votes)
There are no laws of physics only laws of Chuck Norris.
For example: The planets were created when Chuck Norris lifted the law
on gravity and threw them in the air.
Rated 3.28/5 (40 Votes)
(Door crashes into room,building collapses,mushroom cloud)
Rated 3.76/5 (59 Votes)
Q:Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
A:In pursuit of all those who'd fled across it.
Rated 3.42/5 (48 Votes)
Chuck Norris can sleep off insomnia.
Rated 3.97/5 (58 Votes)
Who's your daddy?
Chuck Norris goes to college.
Thats where he met your mother.
(if you dont get it, watch napoleon dynamite)
Rated 1.6/5 (94 Votes)
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray for eye drops, bear traps for 'brass'
knuckles, and barbed wire for floss.
Rated 3.91/5 (65 Votes)