Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris was at a bar and someone slipped a drug in his drink. That person never made it back home.
Rated 3.54/5 (13 Votes)
Hercules had 13 labors. His 13th one was fighting Chuck Norris. But because he was beaten up so badly, people only talk about the first 12.
Rated 4.11/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris can drink a gallon of milk in 37 seconds.
Rated 2.17/5 (12 Votes)
The song "Wake me up when September ends" was about a man who got round-house kicked by Chuck Norris in August.
Rated 3.62/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris invented bacon by throwing a pig through a chain link fence.
Rated 4.09/5 (43 Votes)
Chuck Norris' dog is a kick boxer.
Rated 3.54/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris can fatten a cow on the day of slaughter.
Rated 2.92/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris can see the invisibe man.
Rated 3.42/5 (12 Votes)
If you stare at the Amecrican Flag long enough a 3-D image of Chuck Norris appears.
Rated 3.42/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris can snap with his toes.
Rated 3.63/5 (24 Votes)
The term thug for life Originally
came from Chuck Norris because
of his escape from new york in 1997.
Rated 3/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris exfoliates his skin with battery acid.
Rated 3.35/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris can punch you in the face twice before you blink.
Rated 1.93/5 (15 Votes)
Before accepting a job, Chuck Norris requires all potential employers to send him their company’s resume along with 300 references.
Rated 3.2/5 (20 Votes)
Per Mike Huckabee: “Chuck Norris & I both: 1) share a love of America, 2) share Christian values and 3) were together in 2001, when we single handedly attacked the headquarters of a Columbian drug cartel killing 17, wounding 12 and capturing 19.” Per Snopes.com: “FALSE statement”…”Chuck Norris went to Columbia alone”.
Rated 3.43/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris can handle the truth.
Rated 3.06/5 (18 Votes)
If Chuck Norris starts humming, you better starting singing in French to go with the song.
Rated 2.7/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris can punch and kick you with both hands and feet at the same time.
Rated 3.27/5 (15 Votes)
The day after Chuck Norris was born, his afterbirth enlisted as a Navy Seal.
Rated 3.76/5 (33 Votes)
The original idea for "Biggest Loser" was for it to be a documentary interviewing those who fought Chuck. The idea was scrapped when the producers realized you couldn't interview someone who had ceased to exist.
Rated 3.1/5 (10 Votes)