Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris can look a gift horse in the mouth.
Rated 2.27/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris can jump out of his clothes.
Rated 2.78/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't use tools to fix his car, he only uses his fingers.
Rated 2.63/5 (8 Votes)
Chuck Norris once swallowed a cup of cinnamon. He almost coughed.
Rated 3.77/5 (13 Votes)
Bartenders tip Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.91/5 (43 Votes)
Chuck Norris can skydive underwater.
Rated 3.32/5 (22 Votes)
If Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you will die.
Rated 4.04/5 (48 Votes)
17% of women have never experienced an orgasm. Coincidently, that is the same percent of women who've never met Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.7/5 (20 Votes)
When Chuck Norris decides to use a gun instead of his fists, it's to give his opponents a sporting chance.
Rated 3.64/5 (14 Votes)
P-Diddy wakes up feeling like Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.29/5 (17 Votes)
Everytime you masturbate Chuck Norris kills a kitten.
Rated 3.19/5 (16 Votes)
You can feel Chuck Norris' punch seconds before he punches you.
Rated 3.55/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris blows the seeds out of an apple before he eats it.
Rated 3.32/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris downs a liter of Hennesey before he gets started on the shots.
Rated 3.44/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris can feed 30 people with a sardine.
Rated 3.14/5 (22 Votes)
Chuck Norris can build a deadly bomb using a potato, a piece of floss and green food coloring.
Rated 3.43/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris plays football by himself. In a tennis court.
Rated 3.27/5 (22 Votes)
Chuck Norris sprinted forward while doing the moonwalk.
Rated 3.36/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris now lives in Eagle Pass.
He has a set of balls made out of brass.
When they clang together,
It plays stormy weather.
And lightening shoots out of his ass.
Rated 3.37/5 (27 Votes)
The police use Chuck Norris as their emergency contact number.
Rated 3.69/5 (29 Votes)