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When death called Chuck Norris it went to voice mail.

Rated 4/5 (55 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't learn - he remembers!

Rated 3.85/5 (13 Votes)

Chuck Norris is the issuing officer for the license to kill.

Rated 3.78/5 (9 Votes)

Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.

Rated 4.09/5 (3597 Votes)

Chuck Norris once fought a bear with just the fist behind the beard.

Rated 3.36/5 (14 Votes)

Chuck Norris announced that he will not run for president because Chuck Norris does not debate anything with anybody.

Rated 3.58/5 (12 Votes)

Chuck Norris' favorite smell is fear.

Rated 4.07/5 (15 Votes)

The reason why Alaska and Minnesota are so damn cold is because Chuck Norris is giving both states the "Cold Shoulder".

Rated 3.14/5 (14 Votes)

Chuck Norris's favorite grocery store is Home Depot. His favorite hardware store is your local National Guard armory.

Rated 3.27/5 (11 Votes)

Chuck Norris uses human meat with his hamburger helper.

Rated 1.67/5 (12 Votes)

Chuck Norris once ate a baby just to see if baby back ribs were as delicious as advertised.

Rated 2.84/5 (19 Votes)

Chuck Norris can literally fart napalm.

Rated 3.77/5 (22 Votes)

Chuck Norris can bowl a turkey in the 10th frame with one ball.

Rated 2.67/5 (12 Votes)

Chuck Norris can win at UNO with all 7 cards.

Rated 3.92/5 (26 Votes)

When Chuck Norris kills you it's not out of anger, it's out of mercy.

Rated 3.73/5 (15 Votes)

When life gave Chuck Norris lemons he round house kicked it in the face till it made the lemonade for him.

Rated 3.88/5 (17 Votes)

Scientists have discoveed that there will be only 3 living things in the world after nuclear winter: cockroaches, Minnesotians, and Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.5/5 (16 Votes)

Chuck Norris wasn't dropped on his head as a baby, he was dropped into a tank of nuclear waste.

Rated 2.47/5 (17 Votes)

Chuck Norris can skip water across a rock.

Rated 3.92/5 (24 Votes)

Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is just plain logic.

Rated 4.08/5 (3036 Votes)
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