Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
When death called Chuck Norris it went to voice mail.
Rated 4/5 (54 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't learn - he remembers!
Rated 3.75/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck Norris is the issuing officer for the license to kill.
Rated 3.78/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Rated 4.09/5 (3597 Votes)
Chuck Norris once fought a bear with just the fist behind the beard.
Rated 3.36/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris announced that he will not run for president because Chuck Norris does not debate anything with anybody.
Rated 3.58/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck Norris' favorite smell is fear.
Rated 4.07/5 (15 Votes)
The reason why Alaska and Minnesota are so damn cold is because Chuck Norris is giving both states the "Cold Shoulder".
Rated 3.14/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris's favorite grocery store is Home Depot. His favorite hardware store is your local National Guard armory.
Rated 3.27/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris uses human meat with his hamburger helper.
Rated 1.73/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris once ate a baby just to see if baby back ribs were as delicious as advertised.
Rated 2.83/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris can literally fart napalm.
Rated 3.71/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris can bowl a turkey in the 10th frame with one ball.
Rated 2.82/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris can win at UNO with all 7 cards.
Rated 4/5 (24 Votes)
When Chuck Norris kills you it's not out of anger, it's out of mercy.
Rated 3.79/5 (14 Votes)
When life gave Chuck Norris lemons he round house kicked it in the face till it made the lemonade for him.
Rated 3.88/5 (17 Votes)
Scientists have discoveed that there will be only 3 living things in the world after nuclear winter: cockroaches, Minnesotians, and Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.47/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris wasn't dropped on his head as a baby, he was dropped into a tank of nuclear waste.
Rated 2.38/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris can skip water across a rock.
Rated 3.92/5 (24 Votes)
Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is just plain logic.
Rated 4.08/5 (3035 Votes)