Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris has already written history books for the year 3000.
Rated 4/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris may or may not sleep with his eyes open, nobody has ever been stupid enough to enter a room where he was sleeping.
Rated 3.67/5 (12 Votes)
When lions and tigers and bears travel down the yellow brick road they say, "Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris... OH MY!".
Rated 2.31/5 (16 Votes)
They were going to carve Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the rock was not hard enough for his beard.
Rated 3.94/5 (16 Votes)
The Total Gym ads are actually done by a Chuck Norris look-alike. If the real Chuck Norris advertised for them, even homeless people would own one.
Rated 2.86/5 (7 Votes)
Chuck Norris made it to round 964 in COD zombies with nothing except a empty pistol and a bowie knife.
Rated 2.92/5 (12 Votes)
Dragons only learned to breath fire after Chuck Norris taught them how.
Rated 3.4/5 (10 Votes)
When you ask Chuck Norris for an autograph, he pours ink on his boot and roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Rated 3.96/5 (23 Votes)
Chuck Norris had sex with Oprah, and lived.
Rated 3.5/5 (14 Votes)
A Texas Hwy Patrol officer followed Chuck Norris for 95 miles, observed him throw out 27 beer cans then pulled him over and gave him a written warning for littering.
Rated 3.1/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris set a world record in the 100 yard dash at 8.2 seconds. In doing so, he also set the world record for the mile run as he lapped all opponets in the 100 yard dash 18 times.
Rated 2.71/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris can steal free samples.
Rated 4.11/5 (114 Votes)
Last Halloween, Chuck Norris entered one of his testicles in the giant pumpkin contest and won.
Rated 4/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris won on last weeks Iron Chef America T.V. show by microwaving two ham & cheese Hotpockets.
Rated 4/5 (15 Votes)
Last night a man commited suicide..he jumped off Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.4/5 (5 Votes)
When Chuck Norris has sex he thinks of Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.38/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris once played a game of Shark tag and won...Against Jaws.
Rated 4.08/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck Norris makes fire by rubbing 2 ice cubes together.
Rated 4.07/5 (368 Votes)
Chuck Norris is so Amazing that if you look at his blood through a microscope they all have black rings around them stating that their all black belts!
Rated 3.4/5 (10 Votes)
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, his reflection instinctively ducks.
Rated 4.12/5 (26 Votes)