Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Slow motion was invented in an attempt to defeat Chuck Norris. In response, Chuck Norris invented fast forward.
Rated 3.94/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris cheated on his English test............with a calculator.
Rated 4.11/5 (729 Votes)
Chuck Norris can hit a bull in the butt with a banjo.
Rated 3.88/5 (8 Votes)
Chuck Norris won the 2011 Las Vegas Blackjack tournament by taking 22 hits on the final hand.
Rated 3.69/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris can rehydrate petrified wood by urinating on it.
Rated 3.95/5 (20 Votes)
Superman's only weakness is green kryptonite which is the scientific name given given to Chuck Norris' boogers.
Rated 4.03/5 (30 Votes)
Darth Vader's lightsaber is a replica of Chuck Norris' shlong.
Rated 4.1/5 (29 Votes)
When Chuck Norris crosses the steet the cars have to look both ways.
Rated 3.98/5 (427 Votes)
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his trophy room. It's still alive but is just too afraid to get up.
Rated 4.13/5 (16 Votes)
Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink. If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.
Rated 2.38/5 (1097 Votes)
Chuck Norris once had sex with the Statue of Liberty, Captain America was born.
Rated 4.09/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris can translate Japanese sign language into Russian Pig Latin.
Rated 3.35/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris' Bowling Average is 301.
Rated 3/5 (7 Votes)
Chuck Norris has won the Daytona 500...On Foot.
Rated 3.83/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't walk the talk. He talks the walk.
Rated 2.2/5 (5 Votes)
Chuck Norris can chew his own head off.
Rated 2.85/5 (87 Votes)
Everybody loves Chuck Norris...you don`t have a choice.
Rated 3.64/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris can suck in a black hole.
Rated 3.75/5 (73 Votes)
Chuck Norris was the president of the School of Hard Knocks.
Rated 3.17/5 (6 Votes)
Chuck Norris can beat Usain Bolt over 100 metres wearing flippers.
Rated 3/5 (10 Votes)