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Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes

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Dairy Queen announced it's newest DQ treat, the Chuck Norris Combo Blizzard consisting of DQ ice cream, metal shavings, gun powder, Tabasco & topped with crushed glass.

Rated 4/5 (34 Votes)

The Amish fertilize their vegetable gardens with Chuck Norris manure.

Rated 3.67/5 (12 Votes)

Chuck Norris once went to a beauty salon to have his crotch waxed. There were no survivors.

Rated 3.81/5 (21 Votes)

When Chuck Norris plays Mortal Combat the game simply says round 1 fight, flawless victory, fatality... no need for a second round, cause there is no need to get Chuck Norris mad..

Rated 2.2/5 (10 Votes)

Chuck Norris climbed mount everest in a speedo.

Rated 3.89/5 (9 Votes)

Chuck Norris once planked his grandmother's face.

Rated 3.11/5 (9 Votes)

Chuck Norris can kill all of a cat's nine lives at once.

Rated 3.94/5 (107 Votes)

Chuck Norris can get into The Salty Spitoon dressed in a Spongebob costume.

Rated 3.67/5 (6 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesnt age, he levels up.

Rated 4.13/5 (40 Votes)

When Chuck Norris listens to dubstep he sings along.

Rated 3.91/5 (11 Votes)

Vince Vaughn became a movie star for being the guy that got Chuck Norris to appear in Dodgeball for five seconds.

Rated 3.82/5 (11 Votes)

Cats have Chuck-like reflexes.

Rated 3.71/5 (92 Votes)

Once Chuck Norris was using a mess-up-your-face app on his iPhone. When he tried it, the phone blew up, because YOU DON'T MESS WITH CHUCK NORRIS.

Rated 3.94/5 (16 Votes)

Chuck Norris has a lake house on the Sun.

Rated 4/5 (15 Votes)

When Chuck Norris did a round-house kick on his kinect it broke down because no one can imitate Chuck Norris!

Rated 3.17/5 (6 Votes)

When Chuck Norris goes jogging the world spins backwards.

Rated 4/5 (21 Votes)

Chuck Norris bleeds acid.

Rated 3.38/5 (50 Votes)

Chuck Norris can shove your teeth so far down your throat that you need to sit on food to eat it.

Rated 4.15/5 (13 Votes)

Chuck Norris invented sumo wrestling when he got into a bar fight in japan.

Rated 3.11/5 (9 Votes)

Chuck Norris calls his left hand hate and his right hand love.

Rated 1.83/5 (18 Votes)
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