Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris can incubate an egg in a freezer.
Rated 3.67/5 (9 Votes)
Michael Jackson has a pet monkey named Bubbles, Chuck Norris has a pet monkey named King Kong.
Rated 3.52/5 (27 Votes)
When you have an itch, you scratch yourself, when Chuck Norris has an itch, he shoots himself.
Rated 3.54/5 (13 Votes)
The Mayan's predicted that in the year 2012 someone will tell Chuck Norris to kill time.
Rated 3.91/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris was once hit by a bus. A lot of people died that day..
Rated 3.7/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris won a NASCAR race. Flintstone style.
Rated 3.2/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris can light a match under water.
Rated 3.4/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck can fry bacon wearing only boots!
Rated 2.88/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris's code name is Seal Team 6.
Rated 3.35/5 (17 Votes)
You can tell that Chuck Norris is thinking about you, because it stings when you pee.
Rated 2.78/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesnt need twitter, he is already following you.
Rated 4.07/5 (76 Votes)
If Chuck Norris kills you in Call of Duty, you die in real life.
Rated 3.91/5 (47 Votes)
Chuck Norris kicks so much ass, California had to legalize Marijuana to treat the physical and psycological trauma he inflicted state-wide.
Rated 2.86/5 (7 Votes)
Once Chuck Norris bought a lazer pointer. 2 days later he swallowed it. When he crapped it out, it became a lightsaber.
Rated 3.67/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck Norris can win Jeopardy by simply answering "Who is Chuck Norris?"
Rated 3.67/5 (33 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't have a dog, he has a Honey Badger.
Rated 3.95/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris invented pink. Only so he could make fun of it.
Rated 3.45/5 (22 Votes)
Scholars believe that the only thing capable of making Chuck Norris cry is a picture of himself crying. Such a picture does not exist.
Rated 3.99/5 (127 Votes)
Chuck Norris can kill you with his tongue.
Rated 2.63/5 (24 Votes)
Chucky has a Chuck Norris doll.
Rated 4.06/5 (64 Votes)