Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris gets an additional 5% cash back on all of his hand written checks.
Rated 3.25/5 (20 Votes)
When Chuck Norris runs his finger around the rim of a crystal glass, every dog within a four-mile radius explodes.
Rated 4.01/5 (68 Votes)
Chuck Norris likes to take his dates on romantic gondola rides down Class VI whitewater rapids.
Rated 3.33/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris can catch a bullet with his tounge.
Rated 2.39/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris made a happy meal cry.
Rated 4.06/5 (234 Votes)
Chuck Norris can create a rainbow using only one color.
Rated 3.96/5 (27 Votes)
When Chuck Norris steps on a scale and it reads 205, that's not his weight in pounds....that's how many people he's killed.....since stepping on the scale.
Rated 3.43/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris can walk into your house and arrest you for trespassing.
Rated 4/5 (23 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.
Rated 4.11/5 (3101 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't get the wrong answer, you ask the wrong question.
Rated 4.02/5 (81 Votes)
If Johnny has 3 apples and Chuck Norris has 5 apples and Johnny takes 2 apples from Chuck Norris, how many apples will Chuck Norris have left? None…Chuck will eat 1 while shoving the other 7 up Johnny’s ass.
Rated 3.86/5 (29 Votes)
Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires, but he really likes gigantic toasted marshmallows.
Rated 2.9/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris once used a urinal in Beijing and broke the sewer system in Manhattan.
Rated 3.35/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris once won a dogfight with an 10 - J - 10 fighter jet. Chuck was flying an air Ballon.
Rated 3.81/5 (31 Votes)
When you open a can of whoop-ass Chuck Norris jumps out.
Rated 3.58/5 (19 Votes)
Chuck Norris’ hidden talent is invisibility.
Rated 2.43/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris can get all perfects on just dance 3 without moving a finger.
Rated 2.3/5 (10 Votes)
Give Chuck Norris a fish and he will be full for a day. Teach him to fish for himself and he will bitch-slap you with a fish that someone else gave him.
Rated 3.1/5 (10 Votes)
The Chinese built "TheGreat Wall of China" for one purpose and one purpose only. To save themselves from Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.58/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with peanut butter.
Rated 2.92/5 (13 Votes)