Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
A lion is the love-child of Chuck Norris and a house cat.
Rated 2.38/5 (8 Votes)
Chuck Norris hates American Idol because he is the only American idol.
Rated 2.2/5 (15 Votes)
If Chuck Norris is seen in a video game, his "health bar" is actually is his patience.
Rated 3.09/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare he only eats unicorn zebras.
Rated 4/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris dosn't flush the toilet, he scares the crap out of it.
Rated 4.09/5 (110 Votes)
The only reason the Texans lost the Alamo was that Chuck Norris was on his lunch break.
Rated 2.93/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris can hear your shadows, as well as dead-lift them!
Rated 3.11/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris can run away from his own feet.
Rated 3.44/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris solves Rubik's Cubes in one move.
Rated 3.84/5 (19 Votes)
Kids play jumprope. Chuck Norris plays jumpcobra.
Rated 3.82/5 (11 Votes)
Santa Claus writes a wish list to Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.08/5 (13 Votes)
Santa's elves have evolved to become short in an effort to duck Chuck Norris' Roundhouse Kick at Xmas visits. As yet, it hasn't worked.
Rated 3.87/5 (31 Votes)
Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Rated 3/5 (6 Votes)
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies deader.
Rated 3.78/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris' bumper sticker says: "If you can read this, expect a reign of unholy death from above".
Rated 3.13/5 (8 Votes)
Chuck Norris can make an omelette without breaking any eggs.
Rated 3.89/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris can see all 6 sides of a cube at once.
Rated 4/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris can cut diamonds with a beach ball.
Rated 3/5 (8 Votes)
Chuck Norris' shadow is 3D.
Rated 3.73/5 (15 Votes)
Shooting stars are caused by Chuck Norris hitting home runs.
Rated 3.75/5 (4 Votes)