Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
A lion is the love-child of Chuck Norris and a house cat.
Rated 2.9/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris hates American Idol because he is the only American idol.
Rated 2.35/5 (17 Votes)
If Chuck Norris is seen in a video game, his "health bar" is actually is his patience.
Rated 3.08/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare he only eats unicorn zebras.
Rated 4.09/5 (23 Votes)
Chuck Norris dosn't flush the toilet, he scares the crap out of it.
Rated 4.07/5 (112 Votes)
The only reason the Texans lost the Alamo was that Chuck Norris was on his lunch break.
Rated 3.21/5 (19 Votes)
Chuck Norris can hear your shadows, as well as dead-lift them!
Rated 3.23/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris can run away from his own feet.
Rated 3.54/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris solves Rubik's Cubes in one move.
Rated 3.78/5 (23 Votes)
Kids play jumprope. Chuck Norris plays jumpcobra.
Rated 3.88/5 (16 Votes)
Santa Claus writes a wish list to Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.93/5 (15 Votes)
Santa's elves have evolved to become short in an effort to duck Chuck Norris' Roundhouse Kick at Xmas visits. As yet, it hasn't worked.
Rated 3.94/5 (33 Votes)
Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Rated 3/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies deader.
Rated 3.64/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris' bumper sticker says: "If you can read this, expect a reign of unholy death from above".
Rated 3.2/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris can make an omelette without breaking any eggs.
Rated 3.92/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck Norris can see all 6 sides of a cube at once.
Rated 4.06/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris can cut diamonds with a beach ball.
Rated 3.36/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris' shadow is 3D.
Rated 3.83/5 (18 Votes)
Shooting stars are caused by Chuck Norris hitting home runs.
Rated 3.67/5 (6 Votes)