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Chuck Norris can perform plastic surgery with his bare hands.

Rated 3.82/5 (11 Votes)

When Chuck Norris farts an angel gets its wings.

Rated 4.05/5 (19 Votes)

Chuck Norris refuses to wash his hands before returning to service.

Rated 3.6/5 (5 Votes)

The Army had to refuse Chuck Norris because he was already more than anyone could be.

Rated 3.3/5 (10 Votes)

Chuck Norris eats frozen pizzas. Frozen.

Rated 1.43/5 (7 Votes)

Chuck Norris can host a hostage situation. With no hostages.

Rated 3.57/5 (7 Votes)

Chuck Norris's cowboy boots are made of dinosour skin.

Rated 3.5/5 (6 Votes)

Chuck Norris can rape the willing.

Rated 2.08/5 (12 Votes)

Chuck Norris can pimp slap the wind.

Rated 3.4/5 (5 Votes)

Chuck Norris joined the Army. The next day the Army changed it's motto to "An Army of One".

Rated 3.6/5 (10 Votes)

Chuck Norris is the reason Spongebob lives underwater in the sea.

Rated 3.69/5 (16 Votes)

Chuck Norris gets to the center of a tootsie pop with one lick.

Rated 3.6/5 (5 Votes)

Chuck Norris can draw a circle with a tape messure.

Rated 3.38/5 (8 Votes)

Chuck Norris threw an incomplete pass for a touchdown.

Rated 1.67/5 (6 Votes)

Chuck Norris can make Task Manager 'Not Respond'.

Rated 2.5/5 (8 Votes)

Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you without spinning.

Rated 2.43/5 (7 Votes)

Chuck Norris uses hot sauce as eye drops.

Rated 3.83/5 (125 Votes)

Chuck Norris runs on his treadmill until the treadmill gets tired.

Rated 4.1/5 (41 Votes)

Chuck Norris won the Daytona 500 on a sailboat.

Rated 3.92/5 (12 Votes)

Chuck Norris' phone number is 911.

Rated 4/5 (10 Votes)
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