Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
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You could stick a fork in Chuck Norris but he still wouldn't be done. Chuck Norris isn't done until Chuck Norris says he's done!
Rated 3.14/5 (43 Votes)
What was God's big mistake? Chuck Norris
Rated 2.04/5 (56 Votes)
Chuck Norris trained Michial Phelps
Rated 2.35/5 (48 Votes)
Recipe for Fried Chicken ala Chuck Norris
Ingredients: 1 Live chicken.
1. Stare the live chicken down and give it “the look”. The chicken will immediately lose all of it’s feathers due to intense fear.
2. While the chicken is still dazed, give it a roundhouse kick into next week. The chicken will start on fire and cook until crispy.
3. After the fire is out, cool for five minutes and enjoy!
Recipe for Asian Fried Chicken ala Chuck Norris
Ingredients: 1 Live Chicken
Directions: Same directions as “Fried Chicken ala Chuck Norris” except the chicken must be obtained in a far east land. Preferably, when on assignment to free MIAs from a brutal North Vietnamese POW camp. Serve with soy sauce.
Rated 2.57/5 (63 Votes)
Life doesn't take Visa. Life takes Chuck Norris
Rated 2.95/5 (40 Votes)
On your Hospital paper it might say Last Lame, First Name. For Chuck Norris, It's Chuck, Norris
Rated 2.34/5 (44 Votes)
Chuck Norris is so strong, he can squeeze a dollar into four quarters.
Rated 3.71/5 (76 Votes)
Chuck Norris pees for four minutes.
Rated 2.53/5 (49 Votes)
If you use the urinal next to Chuck Norris, you can't go.
Rated 3.28/5 (46 Votes)
Chuck Norris entered a hoola hoop contest and made a big people milkshake.
Rated 2.42/5 (38 Votes)
A policeman handcuffed Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris picked the lock with the policeman.
Rated 3.86/5 (124 Votes)
In wintertime, Chuck Norris wears a scarf, not cause he's cold, so girls won't faint from his neck veins.
Rated 2.95/5 (44 Votes)
Chuck Norris never misses a sunrise. That's cause he lives in a round house.
Rated 2.68/5 (53 Votes)
Chuck Norris can guess your birthday. It's cause he's your dad.
Rated 2.68/5 (53 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't get seasick cause the ocean can't swell like he can.
Rated 2.16/5 (43 Votes)
Once, while Chuck Norris was tanning, there was a lunar eclipse.
That's why the moon has dints in it.
Rated 3.24/5 (55 Votes)
Chuck Norris makes deodorant sweat.
Rated 3.24/5 (49 Votes)
Chuck Norris irons his shirt so it will match his body.
Rated 2.84/5 (32 Votes)
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Rated 4.18/5 (3559 Votes)
Only thing that scares Chuck Norris is a picture of Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.25/5 (56 Votes)